Dr. Jason Kolb and his wife Amy know firsthand about unexpected turns in life. In January 2023 Jason took a wrong turn at high speed while skiing and landed at the bottom of a 20-foot drop. As an ER doctor, Jason knew he was paralyzed from the chest down and had broken several ribs. Jason and Amy join Stephanie Daniels to share their journey of discovering God's sufficient grace in ways they never could have planned. Their conversation will encourage, challenge, and remind you that no matter what you face, God's grace really is enough.
Dr. Jason Kolb and his wife Amy know firsthand about unexpected turns in life. In January 2023 Jason took a wrong turn at high speed while skiing and landed at the bottom of a 20-foot drop. As an ER doctor, Jason knew he was paralyzed from the chest down and had broken several ribs. Jason and Amy join Stephanie Daniels to share their journey of discovering God's sufficient grace in ways they never could have planned. Their conversation will encourage, challenge, and remind you that no matter what you face, God's grace really is enough.
Read more of Dr. Kolb’s story
Get your copy of Dr. Kolb’s book, Down the Mountain: Skiing, Suffering, and Sufficient Grace
Connect with him at www.drjasonkolb.com
KEY QUESTIONS:
KEY SCRIPTURES:
Stephanie Daniels:
Hi friends! I’m your host, Stephanie Daniels, and you’re listening to the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast. We’re sharing hope as we answer real questions about disability. Join us every week for an honest and encouraging conversation, along with practical ways to include people with disability in your church and community. So, grab a seat, and let’s jump in!
Sometimes life takes a turn we never see coming, and the path we thought we'd walk suddenly looks nothing like what we imagined. My guest today, Dr. Jason Kolb knows that reality well. A skiing accident left him paralyzed from the chest down, but it also set him on a journey of discovering God's sufficient grace in ways he never could have planned.
Jason tells that story in his new book, Down the Mountain: Skiing, Suffering and Sufficient Grace. It's a book about loss, yes, but also about hope, joy, and the unshakeable presence of Christ in the hardest moments of our lives. We're thrilled to have Jason share the raw and the real from his journey, and then his wife will also join us to give her perspective on walking this road together.
I pray you'll find yourself encouraged, challenged, and reminded that no matter what you face, God's grace really is enough. Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Kolb.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Thank you so much, Stephanie. I am delighted to be here.
Stephanie Daniels:
I'm so glad you're here too. For those who haven't met you yet, Jason, could you share a little bit about yourself and your family?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Sure. I am a northeast Ohio native, my whole life. Husband to Amy for 26 years now. We've got four children ranging in age from 22 down to 15. I worked in a hospital emergency room for about 20 years prior to my accident. And I'm a child of God by grace through faith.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen. Well, I feel like that's the most important part. And everything else is so beautiful. Wow, 26 years of marriage to your lovely wife and four awesome kids, that's such a beautiful testimony. Jason, could you share, how did disability become part of your story?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Well, the short answer is it came suddenly, after a catastrophic skiing accident in the mountains of Colorado. I was there January of 2023 on an annual long weekend with guys from church part ski weekend, part men's retreat. And I made a wrong turn at high speed and never even saw the 20-foot drop down to the tubing hill until it was too late and crashed into it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. And you even shared in your book, you had gone down this route before, earlier in the day, right?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so, you were familiar and...
Dr. Jason Kolb:
This was a trail I had gone on about 30 minutes prior. I knew the area, I knew the lift reasonably well, and I can't explain really to this day why it occurred, outside of God's providence, because I grew up skiing. I've skied my whole life. And at the time, and even now I'm solidly middle aged, so I'm always thinking, stay in your lane. Where are you gonna bail out if you get into trouble? Where's the ice? Where's the trees? And Stephanie, it was a clear day, there was good visibility. There was no one in front of me. Nobody crashed into me, nor I into them.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I didn't hit ice. I wasn't impaired. I just made a strange decision and in my free will, and God's sovereignty, ended up flat on my broken back...
Stephanie Daniels:
Hm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…at the bottom of this mountain.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. I listened to your book and I love that you narrate it. That is really something special when an author narrates their own book. And so, that was striking to me the moment that you had your accident when you came to, you had a lot of clarity about the situation. You described that pretty vividly. And you pretty much spot on in that moment, diagnosed yourself. I'm sure that that comes from your medical background, but it just seems as though you had a real sense of peace in that moment. How did you muster that?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Well, the truth is I did not muster that, and I don't think any one of us in a sudden, major, dramatic, life altering injury are gonna be able to muster it up. That was the first of many, many of God's graces to me, I believe. It's kind of funny looking back, I took my gloves off, I unzipped my coats, and I knew something bad had happened. And I remember thinking slash praying, thank you, God, that I can use my hands.
As I felt down my chest wall, I got to my belly button and God reminded me from medical school. The belly button is the level of T 10, thoracic 10. And I told my friend John, who was now at my side that I, I was a T 10 paraplegic, and I would never walk again, but God's grace would be sufficient for me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And that's another one of God's graces that He brought to my mind. That I, I could not have quoted chapter and verse in that moment. I can now, but God gave me the grace of that verse that I clung to in that moment of terror, as I recognized I would never walk again, and my life was going to take a major change.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, my goodness. Can't even imagine that. But I just am struck by peace in the midst of terror.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Well, I'm here to bear witness that He walks with us through the darkest valley, and I feared no evil only...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…because of that. And He protected me from it in that moment with His rod and His staff. I was protected from terror and anxiety. I mean, I had some, but not a lot in that moment.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm. It's clear to me as I was going through your book, that you draw in close to the Lord and He just reveals new parts of himself.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
Through His Word and through what you're going through. Just the intimacy...
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
…and the closeness. I think that's what comes when you walk through seasons of suffering.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah. You know, God promises through His Word that it's living and active.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
In Isaiah, He promises that His Word will not return to him void, but will accomplish the purpose for which He sent it. And so how was I to know as a kid in Sunday school, in elementary school learning Psalm 23, how desperately I would need it?
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
At age 49, the bottom of a mountain.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Wow. In your book you talk about what it was like to now become the patient. And following your accident you were calm, and you still are so calm, that's something that just is striking to me about you. But you were calm in that moment. You were audibly proclaiming scripture and your thanks to the team that was helping you, and you were encouraging yourself in the Lord. You even prayed for those who would be caring for you in that time. Do you remember much from that moment and what was going through your mind?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah. For any of the listeners who've had a concussion to where you're unconscious, if your experience was like mine, you kind of emerge hazy, kind of dreamlike. But I do remember a fair amount from that moment, and I remember thinking, "I want to be a good patient."
Over the years in the emergency department, I've seen many good patients and I've seen many bad patients. And so, I thought, I'm gonna be a good patient. I'm going to be thankful I'm gonna cooperate with what my caregivers ask me to do. So that's running through my mind.
And Stephanie, where I got hurt was a very short distance down to the actual base of the mountain where there was an ambulance now waiting for me. And I remember as they were taking me down the mountain, that short, maybe a hundred yards, thinking of my brother who had gone through a serious water skiing accident just six months prior.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And then God brought to my mind my dad, who had gone through an injury in Vietnam 50 years prior. And He brought to my mind Jesus, who had gone through a violent suffering when He died. And the thought that came to my mind is that, I'm not the first to suffer. Eric's gone before me. dad's gone before me. God's gone before me. And now it's my turn, and His grace will be sufficient for me. And I look to those who had gone before me. And, and the Bible speaks all the time about that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I remember praying on the way down 'cause it was brutal I mean, besides the broken back, I broke every rib on my right side. I had over 20 fractures. And even in the midst of my adrenaline rush it was painful, and hitting every bump was painful. And I just remember praying, "Thy will be done ' cause this wasn't my will." And so that's what was in my moment and it is really profound to reflect back on that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. There's something very comforting knowing that we're never alone. And even when you feel like nobody gets it, nobody understands, it's so precious to think that we have a savior who has suffered and He is intimately acquainted with our grief. He gets it. So, I love that you shared that.
As an ER physician, you had a good idea of what would be in store for you medically. What was it like anticipating the procedures that laid before you?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, that was a surreal experience, knowing that the trauma evaluation I had done on hundreds of patients was about to be done to me. And so, it was simultaneously comforting and horrifying. But I rolled through the trauma bay and that the care team was so wonderful. I do remember that I warned them that when they rolled me, 'cause as, as part of the evaluation, you come in flat on your back of course, they're gonna roll you on your side to check for wounds on your back and so forth.
I said, guys, when you roll me, I'm going to scream because of my broken ribs. And I did, I kept my word. So, a little bit of the fear of the known, I would say. But I would say it was mostly comforting partly because of my experience, partly because of God's grace.
Actually, Stephanie on the way to the hospital in the ambulance, the medics were so kind to me. And Someone had told 'em I was a doctor. And they're like, "Well doctor, what do you think? Should we give you this one medication to maybe slow down any internal bleeding?" And I said, “Guys, you're the boss. I'm the patient. Follow your protocol, I trust you.” And so it was, it was mostly comforting to just be able to release myself into their care and I didn't have to care for myself. I could just rest in their care. They were God's hands to me. All of 'em.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Dozens and dozens of caregivers those first few days and months after that.
Stephanie Daniels:
I bet you were a really big blessing to the team that worked on you.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I wanted to make sure they heard me say thank you. That was one of my goals and I, I think I was mostly successful in that throughout that first day.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm. Well, Jason, in your book you talk about the valley and all the things that people see and learn in the valley. What can you say about this valley in your life and was there a moment that shaped your faith in a lasting way, as you went through the valley?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, that's a deep question. We all love the mountaintop experiences and they're great, and when we're in one we should enjoy it. But, there is something about walking in the valley or in my case, rolling in the valley where there's an intimacy with God that's hard to articulate, that I just don't think can be experienced outside of suffering. And that's why Paul and the other writers, especially in the New Testament, can say we can't even rejoice in our sufferings.
Another thing as I was kind of meditating on Psalm 23 is that it says, “He leads me beside still waters.” Just the peace and comfort of a still water, a gentle stream. It came to me that you find those not at the mountaintop because at the mountaintop, the water's all frozen. And then as you go down the mountain, it melts and it is rushing water. Once it gets to the valley, that is where the still waters are found and that's where He leads us because He meets us there. So that was a moment that has shaped my faith. There's so much there. The cover art of our book that Amy and I chose tries to capture this upside-down nature of God's kingdom where, you can rejoice in suffering...
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…and the first shall be last. And we find power in weakness, and we rejoice in our suffering, and we find our life by losing it. Of course, I would not have picked this to happen to me, nor would I wish suffering on anybody. But in those moments, something profound can happen with our perspective that many of us who have gone through terrible suffering say that we wouldn't trade it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Thanks for sharing that. Well, I would love to bring in your lovely wife Amy to the conversation to share her perspective. Welcome to the podcast, Amy. We can't wait to hear your heart.
Amy Kolb:
Thanks. It's good to be here. Grateful for it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Well, we're so glad that you were able to join. From your perspective, what was it like getting that life changing call from Jason's friend?
Amy Kolb:
Yeah, I was on an airplane, landing in Cleveland, coming back from Jason's parents' house with my daughter. And I got the phone call, and I remember saying, seriously? In my mind I thought, “Okay, well something's major, but I'm gonna go home and help my kids and then get to Colorado.” Well, these guys said, "No, you need to come now. It's major we think you need to immediately come."
As a mom, I'm always on, so I felt like I was hypervigilant. That's been my theme. But I felt like I just started on with my responsibility hat. And so, I instantly thought, “Okay, God, whatever you have for us. Maybe it's my role that I need to convince my husband that it's gonna be okay.”
So, I just instantly was game face. Yet I also did remember asking his friends, "Okay, so he can't feel his legs, how is his head?" And I think they answered me, but I even think I called them back to ask that question again. And they said, "He's still Jason."
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Amy Kolb:
He still has his senses about him. And if had he had a brain injury, God would've still been in those details as well, but I was saying, "Thank you Lord." I was very grateful for that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Amy Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
As you were briefed in the car, going to the hospital, you said you were ready to point your husband to bigger things than the use of his legs. What were you thinking at that time?
Amy Kolb:
You know, I was picturing Jason, spiritually speaking, with his hands tight and clenched. And I was picturing myself with my hands open. And I have my own backstory of having my hands closed in the past.
We've cared for my mom who lived with us for 10 years and gradually got Alzheimer's. And that's my story of bitterness and thinking, "God, my will not yours. Why would you do this to her brain?" And definitely at the time my hands were tight. But after my mom has since gone to be with Jesus, I could see His work in the rear view mirror, and it was opportunity for me to come out changed and transformed by seeing how He did work, and He changed me.
So, I remember even thinking with that story, "I'm going to open my hands, God, to whatever you have for my story. Even if it's you choose to give me Alzheimer's." Maybe it's for my own daughter or my own kid, to work through them to show that it is a beautiful thing to be God-dependent.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Amy Kolb:
So, I came out of that Alzheimer's story, having very clenched hands, but then opening them. So, I received Jason's news with this posture of open hands and saying, "God, whatever you have, it's gonna be bigger than my narrow-minded, silly will. Whatever your will is." So, I truly did picture peeling each of Jason's fingers back and I thought, I'm just gonna have to help him with this and point him to God.
And John, Jason's friend who who was with him at the bottom of the mountain who was driving me to him in the ICU said, “Oh no, his hands were like that too.” And I remember thinking, "No way!" And I think the author that helped us write the book put that so well. She said it was like a representation of the Holy Spirit, John communicating to me that Jason's on the same page. Like, it was just very cool to anticipate, “Okay, God, how are you gonna use this?”
Stephanie Daniels:
That is such a beautiful illustration. What a beautiful heart posture that your hands are already open.
Amy Kolb:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
To say, Lord…
Amy Kolb:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
…not my will, but your will, God. I want all that you've intended for this thing to glorify your name. I asked Jason what he learned in the Valley, and I wanna ask you the same question: how did God shape your faith during this time?
Amy Kolb:
Well, I have grown up reading God's words. So having that as reminders in the background of my brain, even prior to this accident, was obviously God building that firm foundation of him alone. Even in the Bible study prior to the accident, I was relearning what God's definition of good was. I had a cheap, comfortable, cute definition of good.
Stephanie Daniels:
Ooh, talk to us about that.
Amy Kolb:
And God has shown me that His definition of good is way deeper. It blows that shallow definition out of the water. So, I think in the valley He has just proved himself faithful, even in the midst of this difficult circumstance. And shown me that He is still good, good in ways that are deeper beyond what I could have ever known had I just been comfortable. And Joni actually quoted in a seminar we got to see her at a couple of Octobers ago. I love how she says it, "God uses what He hates to accomplish what He loves."
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh yeah.
Amy Kolb:
I love that. So, I would say just growing the depth of knowing that He is with us in it. Almost immediately not even knowing what I was saying, that God's going to use Jason's legs for bigger purposes beyond him walking. And I remember saying, “They'll be megaphones for the Gospel.”
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Amy Kolb:
And so, we've seen how God uses that. He's just making this way that what we would all say, even prior to the accident, we would've wanted to shout to everybody from the rooftops the Gospel. But most people don't wanna hear it. But it is so interesting to me now how God uses these legs that people simply feel sympathetic for.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Kolb:
And I, I love the sympathy. I'm like, thank you. It's an in. It's an in to share how God brings hope and purpose...
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Amy Kolb:
…within the suffering.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Amy Kolb:
I mean, He, He did it on the cross. Of course He will do it with Jason's suffering.
Stephanie Daniels:
Beautiful. I love that. Jason, you quoted a lot of Scripture as your accident happened, as you were transported to the hospital, and at the hospital when you saw your wife. Where did that arsenal of Scripture come from? And do you remember the Scriptures that you quoted?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yes. My arsenal came from nothing, profound beyond just the consistent reading of God's Word. I was blessed with a wife whose love for God's Word was contagious to me. And I grew up in a wonderful home, a very good church. We memorized Scripture growing up, so you know, we hide it in our heart, and it comes out when we need it. I was 49 when I got hurt, so I did have this treasure house of Scripture to draw upon.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Are there any specific Scriptures that have anchored you through seasons of discouragement and uncertainty?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
So, the first one of course was Paul after he had prayed for the thorn be removed from his side, and God said, no. He said, "My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness." So that was a big one I clung to. James calling us to "Count it pure joy when we suffer trials and afflictions of many kinds." Paul, again, saying not only that, but “We rejoice in our sufferings knowing that our sufferings produce endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint."
And then this is the one that has really emerged that I love. It's also from Paul, also in 2 Corinthians, where he says, "Therefore we do not lose heart though outwardly, we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For these light and momentary trials are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And I rehearse that because you know what? Sometimes these trials feel permanent and heavy. But I just remind myself of that truth. So that's a Scripture that I have really anchored into.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so good.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I've clung a lot to the Scriptures on suffering. Of course, I've experienced them in a new light...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…since this injury two and a half years ago. And this is the profound truth: they've gone from my head to my heart.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And so, I can have joy, I can have a peace that transcends understanding. And I really, try to be genuine. It's not all rainbows and puppies, but life is pretty good.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And it's, it's not because I can't walk anymore.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
It's not 'cause I have chronic pain. It's because God has granted me this beautiful perspective of the upside-down kingdom where there is joy in the midst of sorrow and He's gonna turn ashes into beauty. So, I, I'm encouraged.
Stephanie Daniels:
I'm just curious, so many people that have walked through suffering talk about an intimacy with God. Can you maybe talk a little bit about what that looks like for you and what is prayer like for you?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah. On many days, my prayer is, "God, help me to endure this chronic pain." I'll tell you, Stephanie, I grew up listening to Joni and Friends in the 1980s and I would hear her talk about chronic pain and totally naively thought, well, you have a neck injury, you don't feel anything. And now I know that the majority of us have chronic pain, so Lord, help me to endure this pain with patience. Help me to be available for others, to be interrupted...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…in what I'm doing. On my better days I pray like when the disciples ask Jesus, "Thy will be done, thy kingdom come. Use this story however you wish, and God help me to steward my suffering well." You know, we hear the parable of the steward, and my mind goes to, stewarding tremendous wealth...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And that sounds more fun than stewarding a spinal cord injury. And yet, this is what God has given me, and I need to steward it well. I need to encourage those who are suffering. And so, those are what my prayers look like. I personally don't pray for healing where I'm gonna get up and walk again. Many have.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I honor their prayer, and it's not because they're not praying hard enough, it's because God has ordained something different for me. I'm not walking, and that may change. But, I pray for pain control, patience, kindness to others. That's what my prayer life looks like on my better days.
Stephanie Daniels:
Your perspective is just so awesome to me. I'm so encouraged by it. One thing that I was super struck by was your friends and the group of men you were with when the accident happened. You've said, "When we suffer, we need community. Suffering alone is pain multiplied and suffering in community is pain divided." So, I wanna know, can you share more about the community in your life and how they've divided your suffering and offered support?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, absolutely. We cannot do this alone. We were not created to be alone. One of terrible fallouts from COVID is the isolation and loneliness. But I've been blessed to live in basically the same 10-mile radius my entire adult life. And so, I have a huge community at church, at our Christian school, a fairly large family in the area.
And on that trip God ordained that one of my fellow skiers was a retired spine surgeon who could talk my family through the details of what was happening to me when I was in the operating room that night. And the community has borne our burdens. Everything from meals that we had for months, to landscaping my yard, to remodeling my house, providing money for a van.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And, I'll let Amy speak about this but when we're called to weep with those who weep. When she wasn't able to weep on her own, her friend said, "I cried for you and Jason last night." And she carried that burden for Amy who wasn't able at the time.
People raised so much money and I'm so grateful. But more than that, it was the embrace of the community, men and women that were the very hands of God that has given me this sense of peace that God has got this with His community and we're gonna be fine.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. That's powerful. That reminds me of something Joni recently shared in a video that we posted about suicide. She talked about trying to take her own life after her accident. Emotionally, Joni was just feeling so low. She was in a place where she just couldn't worship and cry out to the Lord, but she had a friend that showed up and worshiped for her. And it just really blessed her and got her through that low place.
So, I'm so thankful for your community. That is one thing that really stood out to me when I was listening to your book. Just realizing the importance of what a good community can do and be in those hard times. Let me just say too, we have a lot of listeners, a lot of followers on our social media platforms that don't have community.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And they want it. So, I'm wondering, how would you encourage someone who doesn't have community in their life right now, but needs support in the midst of their suffering?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
That's a great question and a good reminder. I know for many spinal cord injury patients just getting out of the house is a major chore. Or they may not have transportation. And so, for those who want community and don't have it, get into a community at a Bible-believing, Bible-preaching church, that has care groups and support groups. But the hospital also has a spinal cord injury support group.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hmm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
There are online support groups. The church I think would be the best destination. That's what the church is meant to do...
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…amongst its other things.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And I would also say to those of you who are not in a season of suffering, be that community to that person who needs it. Maybe there is an elderly person who's shut in, or maybe there's a quadriplegic who can't get out of her house. Ask if you can come visit with them and just sit with them. I think that would be a wonderful first step in community.
Stephanie Daniels:
That is very practical. That's so good.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
Thanks for sharing that. You also talked about a lesson that you learned about receiving from your community in this season. Can you explain a little bit about that?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I was somebody who had been fortunate to be in a position of giving and contributing for all of my adult life, whether it was serving on a cross-cultural medical missions trip, or money, or through the free clinic. I was a giver. There can be pride in that. You give from a position of power, but you receive from a position of weakness.
So, having to embrace that role this is a season where me and my family are going to need to receive. Takes a little bit of humility to do that and God granted us that. And what a joy it was for us to receive what we needed, and it gave joy to the contributors, the givers to be able to give. And so, it was like this beautiful win-win...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…when we're following the biblical model for how we're to take care of those in need. If you're in a season of abundance...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…you need to be giving and...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Oh, and by the way, you'll have joy in that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
And if you're in a season of want and lacking, you'll have needs provided for, and get energized for that moment when you can work with your own hands and contribute something to the church and the community.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's beautiful. I love that you share that, that it's a joy to give. It's more blessed to give than to receive.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Stephanie, we're two and a half years out from the injury, and God has been gracious and provided work for me, and I've had opportunities now to give in different ways. To steward my suffering, to share my story...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…sometimes at an AA meeting, sometimes at a grief share group at church, other platforms. There’s joy in that.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Even next week. My employer, who has been so kind in providing me work at the hospital, teaching and some administrative work, they invited me to share my story in front of our annual meeting in front of 700 attendees. These are physicians. It's mostly a secular crowd. But a chance to share some hope and encouragement and some Gospel truth from the platform It is an exciting opportunity for me.
Stephanie Daniels:
That absolutely is. The way God does things, we wouldn't always choose. But He sets it up so that He gets glory. 'Cause I know that you're gonna rep him through that whole talk. So, wow. I'm excited for that opportunity for you.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, yeah, me too.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's awesome. What has it been like for you, Amy, walking alongside Jason on this journey? Are there moments when you've seen God's hand in ways that Jason maybe hasn't seen right away?
Amy Kolb:
You know, people were praying from the beginning, let him walk, let him walk. And I thought, think they're missing the point. The bigger picture here is that, you know, we're open to whatever He has for us. So, it was cool to see what God is doing through Jason. I mean, we're in this and we have this deeper meaning of what it means to do this together. It's just beautiful.
Now I will say Jason used to be working long shifts in the ER and he would come home, back in the day, and have very little bandwidth and be very tired. But now he has more bandwidth and he's now the one that has time for everyone.
I would say after the accident, I was recalibrating at a different pace than he was. So, where I feel like my bandwidth shrunk, his had increased. So, he was the yes man, like yeah to every opportunity. And I was like, oh. So, I feel like we have grown in communication with each other as we recalibrated at different rates.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Amy Kolb:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
You talk about staying open and I'm curious, how would you encourage people to stay open in the midst of disappointment and in the face of hope deferred? How do you keep your heart open to the Lord?
Amy Kolb:
I really think it's reading His Word, because I don't have that ability on my own. It's seeing where He is weaving His way with people that are disappointed in Scripture, you know, Old Testament stories where He's has to weave His way through a broken world.
So, when I read these things, I just get this bird's eye view of God and say, "God you have to do that. You have to realign my values, that I put your way at the top." And it can only be him because I, I can't, I can't pull that off on my own. And constantly I'm fighting that. But it's reading His Word.
I'm in a Bible Study Fellowship. We do it year after year. And I can see from the beginning of the year to the end, the trajectory of my heart is just bent just a bit more in the direction of God. It's because I've been reading. I see where He is the verb, not me. He's doing this through me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Jason, do you have any thoughts on that?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Well, similar to what Amy said, I would suggest that you clinging to the promises in God's Word. And even when they don't feel true, we don't wanna rely on our feelings because they're fickle.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
We wanna rely on the timeless truth of God's word. And the other thing I may suggest is to look to those who've gone before you. I love Hebrews chapter 11, where the writer talks about all these great men and women of faith, and it's like really inspiring and, and women receive back their dead, and armies were conquered. And then suddenly without warning, the author says others were tortured and refused to be released. Some were killed by the sword. Some were sawn in two. We're like, wait, what?
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
So, a life of faith doesn't promise a certain outcome. It would be a, a lot better to have my dead raised back to me than to be sawn in two, but either way, our call is to faith. Jesus suffered for the joy set before him, and so too we can, clinging to that promise that there is joy, a lot of it now, more later.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen. Wow, you guys have such rich perspective, and I'm so glad we have both of you with us today.
Amy Kolb:
I might add wrestling. Wrestling with God's word when it doesn't click, because it might not always click, it might never click. And God's big enough to wrestle. If we don't get it and we don't feel it, we can go, "Really? I don't get that yet, God? Help me get that."
Stephanie Daniels:
That's good.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Like Jacob.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Wrestle with God.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I love that He's big enough to handle it. I think He wants you to wrestle with Him. Oh, we have such a good, good Father. You know, I can't imagine what it was like to go through this unforeseen challenge. How has this trial impacted your marriage? And have there been ways that it's strengthened your marriage?
Amy Kolb:
Yeah, I would definitely say again, it's just that deeper definition of good. And it's, it actually is very cool to be a part of God's work, side by side with Jason. It's just to me like we're salmon swimming upstream in a culture that promotes selfishness and maybe plastic and Hollywood and externals. But this is way beyond that. It's deeper, so much more rich, and so fulfilling to do that, to represent that it's beyond Hollywood's cheap versions of that.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, for sure. And I think to be fair, there's been a lot of difficulty as well. For one, poor Amy has learned more about anatomy than she ever wanted to know. And her burden, she kind of alluded to it earlier, has increased. All the normal responsibilities of being a mother and now is a wonderful caregiver for me. I mean, by God's grace, I'm very independent, but she helps me frequently. That's been tough.
Another thing that I'll say is that, part of the consequences of this injury is that this band from like my belly button to my waist is hypersensitive to touch and it's painful. And so, just the normal physical affection, just sitting on the couch, something we love to do. Amy in particular appreciates that kind of physical affection. Sometimes it's just too painful for me, especially at the end of the day. And so, we've had to navigate stuff that used to be normal now is much more difficult, but it's made us better communicators.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Amy Kolb:
At the beginning, right after the accident, I started to realize when Jason says ‘yes’ to something like speaking, or serving, or even just going anywhere, his yes meant my yes. So, I would say, we have to talk about that because I am maxed out. And he was Mr. “Yes,” and I became, "No."
So, we've grown in communication where it's no longer his "Yes" has to be my, "Yes." He's now much more independent. And I, I used to think that I would have to do every single thing he does, and I'm learning, of course not. Now I can say, "Yes, go and do that." I do not have to be a part of, X, Y, or Z necessarily. At times I want to be, but other times I don't have to be, and that's okay. That was major for me to learn, I'm a different human than Jason. I don't have to do everything like him.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. How has the Lord met you in that? After a life altering accident like this, obviously it's gonna impact your marriage. How does the Lord meet you in that?
Amy Kolb:
Well, I like to say God loves me too much to let me set myself on anything but him. And I can remember definitely wrestling with him, even before the accident, he's my husband, why can't I hold him up high? Or my kids? And I learned too, like sometimes when I pray it's revealing my idols. He's revealing to me, "Just keep setting yourself on me, on me alone." Seek first the kingdom and all things will fall into their proper place.
Stephanie Daniels:
I really appreciate you guys sharing from your hearts, and opening up this world that so many of us haven't experienced. We see your strength and how the Lord is working in you. What helps you stay connected as a couple when life feels full of medical or daily care demands?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Probably one of our favorite things to do is to go out to eat and try new restaurants. And so that's been fun. Sometimes an adventure trying to get in an older building that's not ADA accessible. And then we did something really fun this year. Instead of our traditional summer vacations, which I can still do, I can still go to the beach or the lake. But we, volunteered at camp, both our local church camp and then a Young Life camp up in Michigan. And I was the camp doctor for a week. So, I came alongside the full-time nurses that were there all summer, helped triage, should this guy go get an X-ray or not. So, I worked a little bit, there was some joy in the serving, but then also just a lot of fun hanging out at camp. And I felt like that was a really fun way that we stayed...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
…connected in the midst of all the, you know, medical and all those other daily demands.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's really neat. I love that. What ways have you seen God's faithfulness over the 26 years you've been married, but especially in these last two that you've...
Amy Kolb:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
…been injured?
Amy Kolb:
Oh yeah. God's faithfulness is all, all over our story. I've heard someone recently say, where is God in a tragedy?
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Amy Kolb:
And for us more recently, I would say, “God is in the hands of His people, like coming alongside of us.” People like to focus on when the church gets it wrong, but we can't say enough at how the church got it right for us.
So, I would just say through God's people coming alongside of us. That's where I've seen him at work just through that.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so good. It's through the people of God. I love that. Well, what encouragement would you two offer to other spouses or family members in a similar role as you, Amy, or in your position Jason?
Amy Kolb:
Well for me, I think I wanna say count your blessings. Jason says stewarding or suffering. We get to be a part of His work to a watching world that probably feels sorry for us in a thoughtful way. But count our blessings. How can our pointer fingers be pointing clearly upward? We wanna focus on things that matter. There are blessings where I'm at now. God has lifted us up and out of the rat race and actually given us things that are meaningful.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Amy Kolb:
We are blessed that we get to be a part of His work. People are in general listening, and we point upward.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I would just practically offer the encouragement to a spouse or family member who suddenly finds themselves in a caregiving role to embrace the joy of serving. It's there. And Jesus said, the greatest among you will be the servant of all. So, embrace that because it's true. But also learn to say ‘yes’ when people offer to help, because burnout is a real risk for caregivers, especially someone with high needs.
Embrace help. When people offer something, say yes, get a paid caregiver. There's no shame in that. Invite the church to surround you. A wounded, unhealthy caregiver can't give care. And so, recognize burnout. If you need to see a professional counselor or you need to talk to your pastor, do it. Don't be ashamed. Everyone gets burnt out in that role.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, that's good. Good encouragement. Find a way to get filled. That's really good. What do you guys pray that your story will say about God to those who see and hear it?
Dr. Jason Kolb:
I wanna communicate that God is sovereign and He's all powerful, and He's also completely good because the question that comes to many people's minds and myself included, is like, well, if God is so powerful and so good, why does He allow bad things to happen in general? Why did He allow this specific bad thing happened to you, Jason? And the answer is, there's a mystery there that we just have to embrace. I choose to trust, and I've seen the goodness all over the place.
Amy alluded to this earlier, God's goodness is not necessarily a comfortable life, a convenient life, a pain-free life. There's goodness in letting idols crumble. There's goodness in being powerless, 'cause His power is demonstrated there. He's near to the broken hearted. There's goodness in that intimacy that you, Stephanie alluded to, seems to be experienced through suffering. And so that's what I want to communicate. God is all powerful. He is all good. I choose to trust.
Amy Kolb:
And I would say it's our hope in God alone. My flesh would say, “Oh, look at Jason and I, we've got it all together.” And that's a heavy, heavy weight for our shoulders. So, I know better. And I, instead of putting any weight or glory on ourselves, I say, put that on God. 'Cause God is weaving His way. So, we just point to God and say, He's where it's at. That's where there's hope. There's hope and suffering because of Jesus. And on the cross was the best demonstration of that hope through suffering for our salvation. That's the eternal message that will go beyond our years here on earth.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Yeah, and I'll paraphrase Joni, if God could take the worst suffering imaginable, the unfair, violent death of His only Son, and turn that into the best thing imaginable, which is the opportunity to reconcile sinners to God, then just maybe He can do something good with my suffering. When I heard her say that it was after my accident, that was a profound answer I give to my curious friends who are like, “How can you manage this suffering?” And that's the answer that I give.
Stephanie Daniels:
Such a good answer. This has been just such a treat to have you on the podcast today, Jason and Amy. It's been a real gift to hear you both share so honestly, and to see how God's faithfulness has carried you down the mountain and into a deeper joy. Thank you so much for joining us to share your journey and your testimony.
Dr. Jason Kolb:
Thanks, Stephanie, for having us. It was an honor and a delight.
Amy Kolb:
Yes. Thank you so much.
Stephanie Daniels:
We hope this conversation touched your heart today. If it did, consider sharing it with someone who might be encouraged as well. And don’t forget to follow us on your favorite podcasting app so you never miss an episode. See you next week!
© Joni and Friends