Maggie Bushway is a picture of overcoming hardship and radical trust in God. After surviving childhood brain cancer, and still living with seizures and autoimmune diseases, Maggie uses her pain to tell stories that give hope to others. Maggie joins host Stephanie Daniels on the podcast to talk about her journey and how she has seen God make pearls out of the deep suffering in her life. Don’t miss this encouraging conversation that will help you discover purpose, hope, and deeper faith amid any struggle you may face.
KEY QUESTIONS:
KEY SCRIPTURES:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Stephanie Daniels:
Hi friends! I’m your host, Stephanie Daniels, and you’re listening to the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast. We’re sharing hope as we answer real questions about disability. Join us every week for an honest and encouraging conversation, along with practical ways to include people with disability in your church and community. So, grab a seat, and let’s jump in!
Maggie Bushway is a picture of overcoming. She lived through childhood brain cancer, defying the odds that said she'd never graduate or have a job. But her challenges didn't stop there. Today Maggie joins us to talk about her journey and share how she's seen God make beautiful things out of dust. Through multiple diagnosis and treatments, Maggie and her family have found purpose and hope in their faith, and I know she'll encourage you today. Hi Maggie. Welcome to the podcast.
Maggie Bushway:
Hi. Thank you so much for having me. Honestly, this was the dream podcast that I didn't think I could ever get on, but really wanted to, so I'm very happy to be here.
Stephanie Daniels:
Well, I'm so glad you're here and I'm excited to know that this was the dream podcast for you to be on. Can you share why?
Maggie Bushway:
The people I want to reach with my book are people with disabilities, and I know that everyone who listens is struggling with something, and I want to reach all of you.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you shared that. You are a picture of overcoming, and I know your story and what you share today is gonna encourage our listeners. So, we're just glad you're here. Can you start us out by sharing a little bit about your cancer journey and, how old were you?
Maggie Bushway:
I was seven when I was diagnosed, but I have been having symptoms for at least two years prior. My seizures don't look like regular seizures, they look a little bit like panic attacks. I would get really scared and start shaking, but I would be able to talk and I was conscious, so no one ever suspected it was seizures. Also, it was in the part of the brain where it controls fear. And so, I would be afraid of a dog that's outside when I'm inside thinking it's gonna come and eat me. So very like irrational things.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. How old are you now?
Maggie Bushway:
I'm 29 now.
Stephanie Daniels:
Okay.
Maggie Bushway:
So, I've actually been in remission for 20 years now.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. That's wonderful. And I'm so glad to hear that. What kind of cancer were you diagnosed with? And how did that diagnosis affect your family?
Maggie Bushway:
I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I had a grade two astrocytoma. And it was in the right insular cortex near the middle of my brain. So, part of it's still there because it's too deep to get out without hurting other parts of the brain.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, wow.
Maggie Bushway:
My sisters were toddlers at the time. As they were growing up, this was becoming their normal. They didn't realize that anything was different or off. My brother Dax was nine and so he had more awareness of what was going on, and he was a big help in taking care of me. And also taking care of my little sisters when we would go to the hospital.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. I'm so glad that you had your siblings there to support you. Do you remember what that was like for your parents during that time?
Maggie Bushway:
My mom was mainly the person who would take me to chemo. My dad was working extra, working into the night. He had his own business and trying really hard to provide for us and make sure that I could get the treatments I need. So, both of them were exhausted all the time.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. I'm so thankful for parents that will make the necessary sacrifices to...
Maggie Bushway:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
...provide for their families and make sure that you have what you need so that you can heal and get the treatments you need. Sounds like you've got some really wonderful parents.
Maggie Bushway:
Yes.
Stephanie Daniels:
Maggie, do you remember the symptoms that you were experiencing when you received your diagnosis?
Maggie Bushway:
I was pretty smart early on and then all of a sudden, I started unlearning everything that I had learned. That was a big red flag for my mom because she homeschooled us and so she was able to see all of a sudden, she's just going backwards.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. Wow. I'm sure that was a pretty huge indicator for your mom. So, what a blessing to have her in such close proximity to you daily and be able to catch those things that were off.
Maggie Bushway:
I knew that something was wrong. And I didn't really know what cancer was. I slowly realized it as I started the treatment for cancer. I remember one time sitting with my friend and we were talking about cancer and neither of us really knew. And I remember the conversation leading to us saying, "Well, cancer only happens to old people, why do I have cancer?" But we still didn't quite know what it was.
It wasn't until I had been in chemo for six months and around other people and other kids who had cancer, I started understanding it better as some of my cancer friends would die. And the pieces came together during that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. Was that scary for you walking through that and seeing children your age walking through similar journeys and seeing what they were going through? How did you process that?
Maggie Bushway:
I think it, it became more and more apparent that I could die. I had three close friends who all died while I was in chemo. And so, after the third one I remember thinking, this might happen to me. But I had a calmness with it as well. If I die, I'm gonna go to heaven, I'm gonna be healed.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Maggie Bushway:
God's got me either way.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen. Amen. Such a powerful truth that when we leave here, we are with Jesus.
Were your parents, how did they encourage you as you were walking through that as a child because cancer is just a huge concept to even try and wrap your mind around and understand. And I'm just curious, how did your parents encourage you and your faith and point you to Christ? Do you recall?
Maggie Bushway:
There were a couple of things I remember. They had me memorize Psalm 121. Remembering things was very hard for me at the time. And so that was my school for a little while, trying to remember Psalm 121. That was stuck in my head during all these hard times because I spent so long memorizing it.
And then another thing was they were very intentional about telling me that the treatment, which hurts and which makes me sick, is God providing for me.
Whenever I would get chemo I would always thank the nurses after they stick me and start the chemo drip because I was like, they're giving me medicine that's gonna help me. And the nurses were always surprised by that, but I was surprised that they were surprised. I was like, well, of course I thank you 'cause you're trying to help me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Yeah. So thankful for good doctors and nurses, but I love that your parents framed that out for you, just saying, this is the Lord's provision and because he does use modern medicine to heal.
Maggie Bushway:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so, I'm thankful that they share that with you. And I know school is important, reading and writing and arithmetic and all of that stuff. But if you've gotta learn one thing, it's the Word of God. And so, I love that they made you memorize Psalm 121 to be the thing that you could meditate on. 'Cause the Bible tells us to meditate on Scripture, meditate on the Word of God day and night and hide it in your heart. I'm so glad that they had you do that. That's awesome.
Well Maggie, I enjoyed reading your book Pearls and you wrote that with your dad. Why did you decide to write that book together?
Maggie Bushway:
About two years ago we were cleaning out our storage shed, to turn it into a tiny house, and we found two boxes from my dad's mom. We hadn't really looked in them yet, and they were completely full of every single one of my dad's blog posts during the time that I was in chemo. So, I read through all of them and because I’m creative and artsy, I was like, you know, this is really hard to read, but I have to do something with it.
I have to make a movie, a book, anything, I just have to do something with it. And so, I thought about it for a month or so, and then I found the manuscript that I started writing when I was eight, and it wasn't very long, but I did have a lot of quotes from when I was in chemo and all these different points that my dad also talked about. So, I thought it would be interesting to put those two together and then the gaps that I remember and my current perspective, I could fill in what's in between.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. I think that's such a creative take on putting this whole journey together in book form and journaling is such a great way to see what the Lord is doing and remind yourself of what the Lord has done. I'm so glad that you guys found your dad's blog posts and were able to create this book. I think it's so wonderful.
And something your dad said, "To fix the irritation, or wish it away, will rob you of the joy of seeing the pearl of God's priceless purpose in it all." And sometimes when you read through your journals, you can see God's purpose and his plan and see his hand at work. So, I'm so glad you guys put that together to share with all of us.
Maggie Bushway:
Yeah. He doesn't really feel like a co-author sometimes, but there was no question that he wouldn't be a co-author. Because I read it and I felt like I was reading a book by him.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Maggie Bushway:
So, it was just very obvious that he's a co-author.
Stephanie Daniels:
And who better to co-author a book with than your dad?
Maggie Bushway:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
So, what are some standout lessons that you learned through your cancer journey and were there any books or scriptures that encouraged your heart through it all?
Maggie Bushway:
I think the main lesson I've learned is that it's okay to be weak. My favorite passage in scripture is 2 Corinthians 12:9- 10. God says to Paul that his power is made perfect in weakness. Upon reading this for the first time, it clicked in my mind that I don't have to be strong for God to use me. I don't have to be well for him to use me. And the pearls that came out of my suffering may manifest in my own life, and some have. Or I could never see some of them come to fruition, but maybe others who see pearls in their life that God was using in my life.
Paul says in verse nine, "Therefore, I'll boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me for the sake of Christ. I'm content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for when I'm weak, then I'm strong."
That's the main lesson that I've learned in the main passage in Scripture that I go to over and over again.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that. It's such a beautiful reminder that you don't have to be strong. It's okay to be weak, 'cause God shows up in that and uses us at our weakest points. And so that is such a powerful lesson, and I'm so glad you shared that.
During your cancer journey you began experiencing something new, which was seizures. And you said they manifested as panic attacks, but this led to the removal of your front right temporal lobe, your amygdala and your hippocampus. Can you explain what that meant for you and how that affects your day-to-day life?
Maggie Bushway:
Yes. The right temporal lobe largely controls remembering and processing nonverbal information like facial recognition, directions, emotions. The amygdala interprets emotions, specifically fear and danger.
I've had to learn over the years what situations are dangerous because I don't naturally sense it. The right hippocampus mostly controls spatial memories. So, when I was in college at the start of each semester, I had to walk my route over and over again for a week before classes so that I could remember where I was going, not get lost, and find landmarks.
Some other brain damage that I have makes word recall really difficult, and my thought processing speed is much slower.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. That must be challenging. I didn't realize that you could live without those parts of your brain. 'Cause I feel like every part of your brain has to be vital, but you are...
Maggie Bushway:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
...thriving and you're just proof that God can do awesome and miraculous things, and you can overcome.
When Joni was diagnosed with cancer, people would often ask, "Wasn't quadriplegia enough?" As if she needed another illness to deal with. And so, for you, on top of cancer and missing those vital parts of your brain, you were diagnosed with Myasthenia gravis and you also live with Sjögren's syndrome. So have you ever wrestled with the thought, "Lord, how much more can I take?" And how have you processed each of those new diagnoses?
Maggie Bushway:
There was a point in the process of writing my book, it was actually the last chapter when I was diagnosed with Myasthenia gravis and I just had a day where it hit me how weak I could be during this illness, and I was wanting to read a passage in the last chapter of my book because it explains it a little bit better. This is like my journal from the day after I got diagnosed and I put it in here.
"I think back to Paul's thorn in the flesh and how God says his powers make perfect and weakness, but only a day after this diagnosis, my raw and confused prayer is this: Am I weak enough yet? Are brain cancer seizures, Sjögren's syndrome, and nerve pain enough? I understand that suffering is part of my story, but haven't I gone through enough already? I'm sure you could fulfill your purpose for my suffering with the amount of weakness that I already have, but you allow me to have a lifelong weakness disease on top of everything else. How weak do I need to be?"
I was wrestling with knowing that my story includes suffering. And that God is using my weakness, but I was wrestling with why do I need to be so weak in order for God to use me? And, I'll never know why, but I know that there is a purpose.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. That's so powerful. I'm so glad you read that excerpt because, I know God is not afraid of our questions. I'm sure so many of our listeners ask the Lord their own questions in the midst of their suffering. But I feel like God is so faithful and the Lord promises us his presence, and that's what we're really longing for. He satisfies us with his presence and with peace when we've got those questions stirring.
Thank you for sharing that raw take from...
Maggie Bushway:
Thank you.
Stephanie Daniels:
...part of your journey in your book, Pearls. For our listeners who might not know what Myasthenia gravis and Sjögren's syndrome are, could you explain what those different conditions are?
Maggie Bushway:
For Sjögren's syndrome, I got diagnosed nine years ago. A lot of the symptoms are dryness. The throat, mouth, any part of the body that has moisture, it damages that. It also has caused nerve pain. A lot of neuropathy all over my skin. So that's actually been the hardest part about it. But it, it has gotten better ever since I started some stronger medicine.
For Myasthenia gravis, it damages all the muscles. So, I wear out really easily. So, if I am working out, I could probably only do it for a few minutes without feeling like I can't move my muscles at all, and they get really weak and shaky. I have to rest for a little bit and then I'm fine. They're actually genetic. My mom has Sjögren's syndrome and Myasthenia gravis as well. So, it's been really helpful to have her to ask questions and figure out what's going on.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, wow. Earlier in our conversation you mentioned that you are very artsy and creative, and you mentioned making a documentary. I'm curious about what's going on in your life today. Can you tell me about your life today and what you enjoy doing?
Maggie Bushway:
I'm doing a lot of writing right now. I have multiple projects going for work, I'm a social media manager and video editor. Those are the things that I'm able to do whether I am having a down day in bed or sitting at my desk. So, those are things that I can definitely do for work.
I also dabble in a lot of creative projects and enjoy spending time with my family. I really enjoy puzzles, so sometimes I'll just have a puzzle day. And it's really relaxing and a reset for me. I listen to the Bible on audio, while I'm working on a puzzle and it helps me focus.
Stephanie Daniels:
That sounds like a lovely activity. Puzzles and listening to the Word. You also mentioned you live in a tiny house. What's tiny house life like?
Maggie Bushway:
I really like it. I get anxious in big spaces. I'm not sure why. So having a tiny house and just the basic essentials that I need is really relaxing to me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Sometimes being in my house makes me anxious too, 'cause I think of all the things that I have to take care of. So, that makes a lot of sense. It sounds like the perfect life for a 29-year-old, being creative and living in a tiny house. I feel like that's the dream for a lot of people.
Maggie Bushway:
And I live on my parents’s property, so if I'm having seizures or when I have surgery I can just spend the night at their house, or they can come over and check on me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, that's perfect. Well, what does attending church, and your church community look like for you?
Maggie Bushway:
That's something that I've struggled with is, I take a lot of sedating seizure meds at night and I'm a lot of the time not able to wake up early enough to go to church. I try to, but sometimes if I force myself to get up, then I have a lot of seizures.
So, I try every week. Sometimes I'm able to go, sometimes not. But my church live streams the services, so usually I'm able to go back and watch it and feel like I participated in it. And I tried to go to the non-morning events, and Bible studies, as many things I am able to do or feel up to doing. And they're very encouraging and reach out to me and stuff. It's a good community.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's great. So, they're checking in on you and sending you little bits of encouragement to know that they're thinking of you. I love that. What's been the greatest source of encouragement for you, maybe when you are having down days and not able to go to church as often? What's been the greatest source of encouragement?
Maggie Bushway:
I think mostly my family. I have a couple of really close friends too who are very encouraging. One of them also has seizures. So sometimes if I'm having a bad seizure day she'll be really encouraging. And I think mostly my family, 'cause they've been there throughout everything. They know what's going through my head if I'm having a bad day.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I just love how supportive your family is. Like you said, you have your mom to ask questions and talk about symptoms and just bounce questions and things off of her. That's so great to have that support and the support of your church and your friends, your community. I love that.
So, I'm curious, what was your experience with the church during those early years of your cancer journey?
Maggie Bushway:
They were very involved. They supported us financially sometimes. We didn't have to worry about meals at all. There were always meals and some people from church would take my siblings out for the day after chemo when I was the most sick. So, they're very involved. And actually, the church that I go to now, even though it's in a completely different state, they were actually praying for us and helping us financially in some situations because some of our friends lived in Tupelo. And so, when we moved to Tupelo, we were like, we're just going to that church. They already knew and we didn't have to explain everything.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. That is the beauty of the body of Christ…
Maggie Bushway:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
…and being a part of a church, is, we understand what it's like to be the hands and feet of Jesus and be a blessing and to support one another. I'm always interested in practical ways that we can help one another. So, the way they brought you food or just the fact that they picked up your siblings so that you could get treatment or just rest and your parents can be there to tend to you. That's so beautiful. And that's just one of the beautiful perks about being a part of the body of Christ.
Well, we can often have good intentions when trying to comfort someone. And we mean well. We're human, we're part of the body, but we mean well a lot of the time. But sometimes our words or actions can actually come across as hurtful.
In your interactions with others, what's been one of the most helpful and encouraging things that you've had said or done to or for you? And then has there ever been anything that's ended up feeling more hurtful than helpful?
Maggie Bushway:
The most helpful thing that people have done is just to be there. Sometimes we were too tired to know what we wanted. If someone would ask what meal do you want us to make or to bring, we were too tired to make a decision. And so, people started saying, "Hey, we're going to get pizza, would y'all like some?" And it was just refreshing that it wasn't up to us. So, it was just bringing food and being there for us. And sometimes people would stay with me in the hospital so my parents would get like a night or two of rest and be at home. It was always helpful showing God's love and action through his people.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that. Here at Joni and Friends that's the whole point of our Family Retreats and some of our Joni and Friends Area Ministries focus on nights of respite for families. And so, I love that your community just kinda stepped up and said, "Hey, we're gonna stay at the hospital with you, Maggie, so your parents can go home and have a night off." That's really beautiful that your community stepped up in that way.
Has there ever been anything that ended up feeling more hurtful than helpful?
Maggie Bushway:
During a hospital stay, we were in St. Louis for a couple of weeks, my parents and I. And we were really struggling. The chaplain came to talk to us, and he told us the story of Jonah and the whale. And he explained that we must be running from God and not doing what he wants us to.
There are many comforting stories in the Bible that would be appropriate for that time, but that was not one of them. So, it came across much more hurtful than helpful.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, we mean well as Christians and we have good intentions, but I've heard of people often saying they were told, "Oh, well there must be sin in your life. This is probably why you're struggling." Or like you said, "You're running from the Lord." But that's definitely not the case. And sometimes God allows things in our lives to challenge us and change us and make us more like him. And so, that's got to be a difficult thing to hear from a chaplain. And I'm sorry that was said.
That's been also one of Joni's key messages, is that God doesn't waste our suffering and he has purpose in everything that we go through. Sometimes we might be wondering, "God, is this really necessary?" But there's purpose in it. He brings beauty out of the dust, just like we said in the opener here when we started our conversation today. That's what I see when I am hearing your story is just God bringing beauty from the ashes.
Maggie Bushway:
I think the passage that you read that my dad wrote, that was the whole point of the book. When I read that line I was like, that's what the book is. It's turning oysters with an irritant in it, into pearls and beauty.
That's something that I've actually seen since I wrote the book. And it's been confirmation for me that God is using my suffering. It's people's response to it and encouragement. It's validating that God is using my story.
Stephanie Daniels:
100%. And I just want that to encourage those who are listening today. Sometimes we do, we have to lean into what he's doing, the hard things in our lives, because he will bring pearls out of those irritating things.
I'm curious, I haven't asked you this yet, but when did you first learn about Joni?
Maggie Bushway:
Someone gave me a book, I think I was 14 or 15. One of my friends who had chronic illnesses, she gave me the book, A Place for Healing, and I don't know how many times I've read it. Over and over again. Anytime I'm going through a rough patch. It's just the most encouraging book to me. So, then I checked out all of her other books.
She's been a role model for me in how to live with chronic illnesses and disabilities and still show God's goodness and his grace in it.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that. It's a favorite book for a lot of our followers. And it's encouraged a lot of people, so I'm glad to know that has been one that has really ministered to you.
You said at 12 years old you were really angry with God.
Maggie Bushway:
When I was 12 and I was having nonstop seizures for a month, the doctors put me in a coma. Because sometimes when people who have seizures are in a coma, it resets the brain and the seizure stops. When I was in the coma the whole time, I was dreaming about heaven. I didn't have any scars, and I didn't have any seizures, and I could tell that I was healed. And when I woke up, I dreamed that God sent me back. I kept begging him to let me stay.
When I woke up, I was having more seizures and there was a tube down my throat. And the reality of how sick I was, in comparison to how healed I was in my dream, it made me angry with God. And I kept saying, “I wanna go back. I wanna go back.” And my parents didn't know what I was talking about.
I struggled with that for about a year maybe. Why wouldn’t God send me back?
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow. That's a really powerful revelation too. The moment that we leave this earth and are with the Lord, just the full healing that we'll experience. Man, that's something to look forward to for sure.
Maggie Bushway:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Well Maggie, as we wrap up, you wrote your book to encourage people, and so, is there anything else you want to share with our listeners today that might encourage them in the midst of whatever they're going through?
Maggie Bushway:
I think the main thing is, we're told a lot of things. After getting a diagnosis, we're told, you'll never be able to live to graduate. Or you're never gonna be able to have a job. And I just want people to be encouraged that there are medical things coming out all the time. I have a VNS, Vagus Nerve Stimulation, that sends stimulation up to my brain, and it helps to prevent my seizures.
Stuff like that makes a huge difference and gives me a much better quality of life. But we never would have expected that something like that would come out in the moment, years and years ago.
So, I just want to encourage people that you never know what's gonna happen. If someone gives you a bad prognosis, don't cling to that because you never know what will happen.
Stephanie Daniels:
That is encouraging. Things are coming out all the time. That can help us, but I do just also wanna add to that, a in Matthew 19:26, "With man this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible." And he can do anything. As long as it's in his will and in his purpose, he can do it. We just need to trust him.
Maggie, you just are a beautiful picture of what trusting in the Lord looks like and what overcoming against all odds looks like. I'm so thankful that you are able to join us today.
Where can people find you on social media or get your book?
Maggie Bushway:
You can get my book off Amazon. It's called, Pearls: A Memoir on Childhood Brain Cancer and Hope. And, you can find me on Instagram, @mkbushway. I have a Facebook page for Pearls by the same name. And I’m dabbling with TikTok.
Stephanie Daniels:
Awesome. I know a lot of our followers are on TikTok 'cause they follow us. And I'm sure that they'll come find you Maggie. But it has been a blessing to speak with you today. We just wanna thank you for joining us on the podcast.
Maggie Bushway:
Thank you so much for having me.
Stephanie Daniels:
We hope this conversation touched your heart today. If it did, consider sharing it with someone who might be encouraged as well. And don’t forget to follow us on your favorite podcasting app so you never miss an episode. See you next week!
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