What if the life you've been given is more beautiful and purposeful than you've allowed yourself to believe? Living with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, mental health struggles, and countless surgeries, Renee Dollenmayer knows what it means to go through the hard. But she's also discovered something profound—joy isn't found in perfect circumstances, but in the presence of Jesus.
What if the life you've been given is more beautiful and purposeful than you've allowed yourself to believe?
Living with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, mental health struggles, and countless surgeries, Renee Dollenmayer knows what it means to go through the hard. But she's also discovered something profound—joy isn't found in perfect circumstances, but in the presence of Jesus.
In this episode, Renee shares how God has transformed her understanding of disability, singleness, waiting, and purpose. From founding Even If Ministries and serving families through Joni and Friends to adaptive skiing in Colorado and faithfully surrendering her dreams to the Lord, Renee reminds listeners that disability is never a disqualifier for living a full and meaningful life.
Together, Stephanie and Renee discuss what it means to behold God's presence, wait well for the desires of our hearts, cultivate joy in difficult seasons, and courageously say "yes" to the life God has placed before us—even if it looks different than we expected.
Connect with Renee at ReneeDollenmayer.com
Follow Even If Ministries on Instagram @weareevenif
KEY QUESTIONS:
What does it mean to behold God's presence in my everyday life?
How can I find my identity in Christ rather than my circumstances?
How can I courageously say "yes" to the opportunities God places before me?
KEY SCRIPTURES:
Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Philippians 3:13-14: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Stephanie Daniels:
Ever met someone whose joy was tangible? Get ready to. Today's guest is one of those people. Renee Dollenmayer loves Jesus deeply, and it shows in the way she lives, the way she speaks, and the way she invites others into hope. As a Joni and Friends team member, founder of Even If Ministries, and a disability coach, Renee is passionate about helping people living with disabilities move from feeling stuck and hopeless to living with purpose, freedom, and deep-rooted joy.
What makes Renee so compelling isn't just what she does, it's who she is. She loves local coffee shops and deep conversations. She brings joy into the everyday with kitchen dance parties and a little karaoke. Renee's contagious joy isn't surface level, it's been formed through trust, surrender, and a faith that says, "Even if life doesn't look the way I expected, God is still good." Today, Renee joins us once again to share what it looks like to trust the Lord in the midst of hardship, to embrace contentment, and to live a life that's not defined by limitation, but by purpose. Welcome back to the podcast, Renee.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Stephanie Daniels:
So we previously had you on the podcast, and I am really so glad that you're back. Would you remind us of who you are and catch us up on what's happening in your life right now? And tell us what a disability coach is?
Renee Dollenmayer:
My name is Renee Dollenmayer. I was born and raised, in Columbus, Ohio. I was born at 32 weeks, and so was premature, which caused my disability of spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. And although disability has had its hardships, I'm so grateful that the Lord has redeemed that and has used my life to bring Him glory.
And so I'm really passionate about seeing other people set free in the midst of hard circumstances. So that is really what a disability coach is, just someone who comes alongside another person with a disability. And I get to work with them and through the power of the Holy Spirit and say, " Your life has purpose.
Your life has meaning. Let's uncover what that looks like, and let's see the transformation that the Lord has for you," because I've been transformed from the inside out by the power of Jesus Christ.
Stephanie Daniels:
I absolutely love just your heart for people...
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And how you wanna come alongside them and infuse them with life and, the truth of the Word. You are really such a joy bomb, and everybody needs a Renee in their life. So you live your life on purpose. I really have been able to witness that in the short time that I've gotten to know you. You are on a mission. You're here on staff at Joni and Friends, and you founded Even If Ministries, and you're also writing a book.
Can you tell us a little bit about each of these endeavors?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yes, love it. Well, I'll start with Joni and Friends. I'm a Christ-centered care support specialist on our Response department. Such an answered prayer because if there was a job that had Renee Dollenmayer written in capital letters, it would be the Response department with Joni and Friends. People write in from all over the world prayer needs , needs of spiritual encouragement, or maybe practical resources.
And so I get to respond to things every day, and share the hope of Christ, which is such a gift and I am so, so grateful. And then Even If Ministries was founded in 2020. I don't wanna say it was founded by accident because God always ordains things, and He's so sovereign.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Renee Dollenmayer:
But the original plan was for it to just be a six-week Bible study. At that time in my life, I said, "I'm never gonna go into ministry." I was kinda living like, a double Christian life and it was really through six-week Bible study that met on Zoom for women with disability that now has turned into a global ministry, and we still do our weekly Bible study called Monday Gather.
It was through that where I was like, "Oh, the way I'm living doesn't really line up to Scripture." The Lord transformed me through starting a ministry, which is crazy. But then my book, just a little preview of that, it's actually gonna be based on the church, and what does it look like when the church, allows people with disabilities not only to participate in a service, but to serve and to be leaders and to set the tone and really walk out the mission and the vision of Jesus Christ Himself.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Renee Dollenmayer:
The Lord is so intentional to place me at Joni and Friends. To see so many ministries doing like-minded work is such a gift.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. It's so true, and I love that you're ministering to the people that write in to Joni and Friends, 'cause that's how this ministry started, right?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
So many people writing in to Joni and asking advice and sharing their own stories and asking for prayer. I love that that has been a consistent piece that has stayed...
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
In the ministry. So I'm so glad that you're getting to love on people that way. And with Even If and, and the fact that that's a global ministry is just so beautiful.
It's so cool that the vision of Joni and Friends wanting to get the Lord's house full...
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
With our Luke 14 mandate, go out into the streets and the alleys of the towns and bring in the poor and the lame. Like, Your book sounds like it's focused on the same thing. What could the church be if we just were so inclusive? That is the heart of God, for us to be inclusive and love on people.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And you're doing it in all these areas of your life. Did you ever have a turning point when your faith became deeply personal? Not just something you believed, but something you clung to.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah. So many little moments, but I think what it really comes down to is just being in the thick of suffering. This world is not my home, and disability is hard, and I don't know how to make sense of all of this if there's not something greater, something more.
And so I really think in my seasons of recovery from surgeries, and just even deep seasons of mental health struggles, and chronic pain. And all those things, it's like when your circumstances look so bleak and dark and you cry out to the Lord, He just draws so close. You can either choose in those moments to turn to anger and bitterness, and there were definitely seasons where I fell into anger, but the Lord so graciously met me again and again.
So I think it was really in those pit moments where the Lord was like, "Renee, I'm here to sit with you. I'm here to tend with you. I not only want to know you, but I want you to know me."
Stephanie Daniels:
Hmm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Over this past year, the word behold just lights up in my brain all the time. We get so used to checking all the boxes, even in vocational ministry. But all the Lord asks us to do is sit and behold His presence, to be still and hear His voice...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And know that He is God.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah, I think it was really in those dark seasons and dark moments where my faith really did become my own of like, "I gotta make sense of this suffering, ' cause it doesn't make sense otherwise."
Stephanie Daniels:
What does your time with the Lord look like, Renee? I feel like you're just always so filled with Him. What does beholding Him look like in your personal life?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah. Honestly, in this season it's looked so much different than past seasons. Before I started working with Joni and Friends, I had hours to just really sit and behold His presence.
But I think the beauty of working for an organization like Joni and Friends, and being in the Response department is we get to behold His presence all day long. We can invite God into every moment of our day. My time now looks just like a lot of breath prayers and a lot of studying...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
His Word. After work is when I'll do a lot of my study for the day. Praying as I'm doing responses.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Praying for the people that are writing in, asking God to intercede. I usually will, like, blare worship music on my TV or through my headphones. So I think in different seasons, it's looked different. But He truly is my favorite person to spend time with.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I think that's why joy just emanates from you, because you are, like, steeped in His presence. You just stay there. That's just such a crucial piece of our walk with the Lord, being with Him. That really inspires me. Renee, I've heard that you have quite the gift for evangelism. What do you think has led to your heart being so pointed toward loving and impacting people and pointing them to the love and forgiveness found in Jesus?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Stephanie, if I'm gonna be really honest with you, I think that gift really grew last year I had so many surgeries and was in the hospital all the time, and I was like, "Lord If you're gonna allow these things to happen, please do something. Change some lives. Let's see some people saved."
And when you enter the valley of the shadow of death, when you're just there and you're alone, and you are fighting, your body is fighting for its life, you just see how precious...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Life is.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And I was like, "Lord, "Do not let me become apathetic to the fact that I am saved and set free and redeemed..."
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, that's good.
Renee Dollenmayer:
"by the blood of Jesus Christ." And so every single nurse or doctor that would come in, I was like, "Hey, have you heard of Jesus?" "What are your thoughts on the Gospel?" "Do you know the Good News?" just asking open questions. Or I remember one time they even had to do, like a mini procedure in my room, like it was an emergency. And my mom said I was just laying there telling this girl about Jesus, and letting her know that I was praying for her.
Stephanie Daniels:
Aw.
Renee Dollenmayer:
So that was like the work of the Holy Spirit.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I just love Him so much, and I'm sick and tired of seeing the world in bondage. And I'm specifically sick and tired of seeing people with disabilities feel like their life has no purpose or meaning because they have to be in bed all day or because they can't get out much, that they somehow don't have a purpose on this earth.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Renee Dollenmayer:
That is the biggest lie of the enemy. I just wanna see people set free and live the life that they were intended to live all along.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm. Beautiful. And really, I just feel like we should all be praying that the Lord would break our hearts for the things that break His heart.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You mentor women with Even If , helping each other to become who God has created them to be. How have you been mentored?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Such a great question. I've been mentored by so many lovely humans. One thing that is just a gift, even though we're all kind of the same age, is, my ministry team at Even If are some of the sweetest, most Jesus-loving, compassionate people you will ever meet.
They just really hold me accountable and keep me grounded, and I'm so, so grateful for them. Also, working for Joni and Friends, or even doing internships with Joni and Friends, my boss Tracey, who we all know and love.
Stephanie Daniels:
Love her.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Seeing her life and her marriage the past 20 years. I've learned so much from her in that. And then Katherine and Jay Wolf who've really come alongside of me. And so I have just immersed myself in the disability community. I really value discipleship within the local church and so I have somebody discipling me in my church.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I'm so grateful.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so great. I grew up with lots of people who, spoke into my life, and they're still speaking into me. It's just such a gift to have godly mentors to sow into your life. So I encourage anyone, if you feel like, "You know what?
What I need, is a godly mentor to speak into my life," I encourage you to seek those people out at your church, 'cause they're there. And sometimes people are just looking to sow into the younger generation. Often I hear people that write into our social platforms say, "Joni, you've been a mentor of mine." People can mentor you from a distance, right?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so I think the fact that the Lord uses Joni in that way to speak into so many lives is really awesome.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yes.
Stephanie Daniels:
You're living with purpose, and you're not letting disability stop you. last time you were on the podcast, you talked about speaking at churches and starting your ministry Even If. And when I hear of all of this, I think of the Scripture that talks about pressing on toward the mark, laying aside every weight. And that was actually kind of like your final encouragement to our audience the last time you were on.
I wanna know what does that mean to you, laying aside every weight and just pressing forward?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah, it means running with all I've got, and not in my own strength, but in His strength. It means waking up every day and confessing my sin to God and to others.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Um, because there's such beauty in that. And it means taking risk, being unafraid. It means having courage even when it's hard. It means acknowledging the lies of the enemy and walking in truth and in freedom.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And there have been things, through my story that have maybe slowed me down a little bit, and there's seasons for that.
But I do think just having a heart of gratitude and saying, "Lord, you've given me breath in my lungs today," how do you want me to use my time?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And I think that's really where my heart for vocational ministry has developed. Every day I wanna use my life knowing that it is being leveraged for the Gospel.
And so I just wanna encourage the listener wherever they are, no matter if it's a job, if it's your family, if it's in your facility. Whatever it looks like, you can lay aside every weight, every sin, everything you feel shame about, and you can say, " Jesus, take it, because you paid for it on the cross, and show me how to run today.
Show me how to live today." Sometimes my prayer is literally, "Jesus, show me how to live today," 'cause I don't know how in my own strength or willpower.
Stephanie Daniels:
I think it can be so easy to look at our own situations, or if we're living with disability, and think that that is a disqualifier or a setback.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
But it doesn't, and I think Joni is a great example of that. You are a great example and I love your prayer, "God, show me how to live today."
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm.
Stephanie Daniels:
It's so cool to see how he's working through you and how he's working through Joni, giving you a platform in the midst of what you're living through, and, it's just so encouraging. You just went on a trip to Colorado where you went adaptive skiing.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
I need you to share about that, 'cause I'm like, talk about laying aside every weight and not letting disability stop you. How was that trip?
Renee Dollenmayer:
It was one of the most glorious things I've ever done, and it was so redemptive for me. And Stephanie, I find so many people with disabilities believe that that's the very thing that disqualifies them.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Renee Dollenmayer:
That's the biggest lie I struggle with as well.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hmm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
But it's taking that lie captive every single day and saying, " No, that's of the enemy. Lord, use my disability today for your glory." And so last year I got a hip replacement, I feel like a new woman.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And ever since that surgery, I was like, "Okay, we're gonna do some wild things once I'm recovered."
And so, had friends that live out in the Denver area and they're like, " Renee, would you wanna come and go skiing?" And I'm like, "Yes, you don't have to ask me twice." I thought I was gonna be so nervous, but I think more than anything, what the Lord has worked on in my own heart is even if things don't go as you expect all the time, even if it takes a little extra advocating, do it scared. Do it scared.
Stephanie Daniels:
Come on. I love it.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Because life is too short. Like...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
It is just, it is too short in Jesus's name to live in fear.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Renee Dollenmayer:
If you are given an opportunity to go try something new, do it. I always tell my coaching clients, I ask them, "What's the worst that could happen? Actually, what is the worst thing that could happen to you?"
And my worst thing was that I'm gonna feel really sore for a long time. I could get hurt.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
It amazes me so much.
Stephanie Daniels:
You just are a whole encouragement to say, hey, get out of your stinking thinking and just...
Renee Dollenmayer:
Let's go.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, let's go. Renee, I love you so much just because...
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You are such an inspiration, and you have the most precious spirit and heart. You bring so much joy to everything you do. How do you stay so joyful?
Renee Dollenmayer:
I stay so joyful because of Jesus. beholding His presence every day leads to the joy of my salvation. There's no other answer of where my joy comes from besides Him, and I think sometimes when people look at my life, they're like, "Renee, you're the most joyful person ever, and you must never be sad," I doubt you ever have a sad day." But I have gone through seasons of just really wrestling with depression and walking through really dark and hard things. I think we think somehow joy is like this exclusive package. You either have joy or you don't. You either have joy or you're depressed, but what if I told you by the power of the Holy Spirit there can be both? You can have the joy of the Lord pumping through your veins, the joy of your salvation, while also deeply lamenting and longing for things in your life.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
We've kinda put them in categories or even like, oh, if you go to therapy, you must be going through a really hard season. Sometimes I just go to seek the Lord, have another voice. Like, I will forever grieve things about my body, things that have not gone the way I'd hoped. But I will also forever hold the joy of my salvation.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And that's, where the smile and the, the laughter and the Renee comments that is where that is coming from, of knowing that I am a child of God, that I am free, that I am made whole in Christ, that He will redeem all things, that He is in all things. But also, some days I'm having a bad day. Some seasons are hard and that's okay. There's freedom, there's beauty in the ashes. Jesus sat with Mary and Martha in their grief and was angry and sad.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Let's feel the whole scope of our brokenness because when we're in eternity, we won't be feeling that scope of emotions. We will just be in pure delight and awe and wonder.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Paul says, "I find joy in suffering for Him", that is where the joy is found.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Renee Dollenmayer:
It's not in some feeling. It's, "Lord, I am suffering, and this is hard, and this is painful, but leverage it for the Gospel, and give me the joy of my salvation today, and show me the ways You're working." I could go on and on about that.
Stephanie Daniels:
I'm so glad you shared all of that, 'cause I was gonna ask, are you ever sad? And would you know what to do with it if it showed up? And yeah, you do know what to do with it.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sadness is a real emotion. But ... God gave us our emotions. He created them. But we don't have to let them rule us and we have so many tools to help us move through the lows, and His presence is one of those great tools that He's given us.
What is something that really helps you cultivate joy in your everyday life?
Renee Dollenmayer:
There's a lot of things. Gratitude, I think, really helps me cultivate joy, because when you realize every day that Jesus died for you...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
How can you not even feel an ounce of joy?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I think another thing that helps me cultivate joy is the ministry of presence. Just sitting with people and being with people and being honest about our limitations and our struggles, and inviting the Lord into that. And then a worship dance party. There's no way that you don't even feel an ounce of hope or joy worshiping the Lord in all His glory, all His wonder, and all His splendor.
Stephanie Daniels:
I will say that, too. We turn on worship and it just primes the pump of your heart for joy and praise. And we'll often keep worship on here at home, and it does the trick to really cultivate gratitude in your heart. It's such a good pick-me-up.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah. And just create some good playlists. 99.9% of the music I listen to is all worship music because I want to be constantly filling myself with the Word of God...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
In every moment, in every season. So it's been so sweet.
Stephanie Daniels:
My husband is really into music, and so he, got a Spotify account and started putting, different playlists together. And our favorite one is an Afrobeats one that he did, and it's all worship. The artist is CalledOut Music. We love him. And we were on vacation last summer, driving through, Glacier National Park, and we also did Yellowstone. And as we were driving, we were listening to this worship music, and all I could do was cry. We're surrounded by God's creation and so much beauty, and I just was undone. And so I 100% agree with that. Put a playlist together, one that just proclaims who God is, and let it bless your heart. It's so good Renee, your life is really full with deep friendships and events and all the things, and you have lots of friends who are having babies. This might not even be one of the dreams, but it's a dream for me. I wanna know what dreams do you have for your future that you're laying at God's feet? What are some things that you're having to just say, "Lord, have your way in this space"?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Stephanie, such a good question. And yeah, I just love babies so much, and I'm so grateful for the gift of life. And to just see my friends step into that has been beautiful. Really, those two things are what I'm needing to lay at the Lord's feet constantly.
One thing is just the desire to be married, and to create a space and a house that is a house of hospitality. I just love sitting with people. I love discipling people. I love raising the next generation. And so, yeah, a dream is to have a home, whether it's through adoption or biological, having kids and to just pour into them, because that is so important. those two desires, motherhood and being a wife, I've just really had to lay down at His feet, for sure.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. the Lord has us sometimes in seasons that don't make sense.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Mm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Or seasons where we're having to wait. And talking about marriage, I wanna ask you about singleness and what that really looks like for you.
We heard, from someone a few weeks ago that mentioned involuntary singleness. And they were saying that it's really painful and so tragic when it's prolonged. There's lots of ways that you can wait: with bitterness, you can wait with anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, jealousy. Can you talk to us about waiting well?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Let me backtrack just to maybe better understand the context of, like, what the Lord has done in my life. Throughout high school and college, I dated some guys, but just fell into a lot of sexual sin, and we were not running the same mission. And so the past seven years I've been in this season of singleness, way longer than maybe I would like.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
But at the same time, I have such a heart of expectancy when it comes to waiting for my spouse and waiting well has looked different in a multitude of different seasons.
Being honest with God that, like, this is not what I want right now. Lord, come on, let's go. But then he so tenderly meets me in that, and He's like, "No, this is exactly where I want you." And in the midst of singleness, in the past seven years, God has clarified so abundantly to me purpose, mission, calling, vision. And so as I am waiting, it looks like being very specific with the Lord of what I desire, 'cause He cares about the desires of our heart.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And He knows what we need even before we say it. And he's not off-put or surprised by disability. He knows all things and is in all things.
And so waiting well has looked like being specific with the Lord, inviting him into this, and investing in local community because when you're married, you don't have the same space and margin to do those things.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
One of the biggest lies that the disability community believes when it comes to marriage, and when it comes to a relationship, and when it comes to singleness is, "Oh, I'm still single because of my disability."
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
That is the biggest lie I have ever heard, and I struggle with it as well. And I've walked through seasons of like, "Well, Lord, I must be single because of my disability." No, you are single for such a time as this to, like...
Stephanie Daniels:
Come on.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Work on yourself, invest in community, and, like, I'm just gonna be so real. Yes, I have a physical disability, but, like, I have a lot to bring to the table.
And so I would say to the person that is believing that they will never get married, what would happen if you believed, God, that you were getting married? God, you can do it. If that's your will, and that's what's gonna further the kingdom."
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Let's go. And then also what waiting well has looked like for me is writing, it's been so beautiful to just write and pray, and get specific. Like again, do it scared, be proactive. Show up and show out, you're gonna, have a lot of fun experiences along the way.
And, you don't have to go on a date with every godly guy who asks you on a date. Like, you just don't. And it's been a lot of guarding my heart, and accountability as well.
Stephanie Daniels:
That does sum up waiting well, and I think accountability is critical in waiting well, and just keeping your heart at a right posture. And I think that's so good to just trust that God is writing the best love story for you. And maybe it looks like waiting is involved, but just trust that He is bringing that person.
And I love that you said that, you're writing prayers. Maybe you're praying for your, future spouse. So many great tips that you've shared. Renee, when we look at emotional wholeness, I the world tells us that we need our person to be complete. We need our soulmate to be whole. I don't know if this movie is beyond you, but Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire told his love interest, " You complete me." Can you talk to us about finding your identity in the right place?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah, so that statement, "You complete me," or, "I need a spouse to be happy," or, "My life will be so much better when I'm married," that's just a load of bogus.
Your problems are just gonna be revealed more and more, and your sin's gonna be revealed more and more in marriage.
Stephanie Daniels:
100%.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I think for me, it has looked like I am running so on mission with Jesus running alongside me. I am a daughter of the king before I am anything else.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I'm a daughter of the king before I'm a friend, before I'm a coworker, before I'm a visionary and founder. And so the same applies of being a wife.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I have made it very clear, in my conversations with the Lord, if and when that person does come along in your will, I want to be so on fire for you, and running alongside with you, and pursuing all the things I love."
And then the beautiful thing about marriage, if that's what the Lord has for you that person gets to lock arms with you and run with you.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Renee Dollenmayer:
I've had to make it very clear to the Lord whoever you do have for me they're gonna have to love people with disabilities, 'cause hello, this is the work we're in, and this is my life."
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Renee Dollenmayer:
They're gonna have to be passionate about reaching the oppressed and reaching the lost.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. That's making me think of something my youth pastor used to say all the time, was, Get about the Father's business, and He'll get about your business."
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I just feel like it's so much of what you're saying. When we're wholly devoted to the Lord and what He's calling us to do, He's working behind the scenes on those things to continue to develop us and align us and, put us in the right places so that we can meet the people and do the things that He's also got for us to do because we're focused on Him here. He knows what you need, and He's the best lover and friend and caregiver of our heart. All the things that we need.
What does it look like to live fully and not feel like you're waiting for life to begin? You're such a good example of that.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yeah, I think living fully is, again, just keeping our eyes on the prize, the author and perfecter of our faith. This theme just keeps coming up as I'm talking, doing things unafraid, and knowing that the Lord will provide your daily manna for today.
He will give you everything you need. You never walk alone. So you can go in confidence, in boldness, in authority and just watch Him work.
Stephanie Daniels:
So Renee, what do you think that people often misunderstand about disability that you wish they could see differently?
Renee Dollenmayer:
There's so many things, but the first thing that popped in my head, so I'm gonna run with it, is that people with disabilities are so much different than people without disabilities.
It's just not true. We are all human. We are all full of sin. We all have our stuff.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
And I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say, like, "Oh, Renee, you have it so much harder than me. We all have hard things, disability or not, this world is hard.
Life is hard. And so when we almost view people with disabilities on, like, a pedestal of, life is so much different, it's really not all that different.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. So good. If God never changed your circumstances, how have you learned that He's still good?
Renee Dollenmayer:
In every way. God is good because He is God. He is good because He paid for my sin. My heart is trash. I am a sinful, fallen human being, and we're all sinful, fallen humans in need of saving. I need rescuing. I need redemption.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Like, I am not some special girl on a pedestal because I've gone through some hard stuff. No, the last I checked, like, God is still seated on the throne and fully sovereign over our lives, and we need saving.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. There's so much in you, and the world needs what you've got because you are just so full of zeal and fresh fire and joy and I could go on and on. Renee, you are just an absolute joy. Can you just tell us, how can people connect with you?
Renee Dollenmayer:
Everything is pretty much @ReneeDollenmayer. You can find everything that way, all you could ever need. My website is ReneeDollenmayer.com.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes, and they need to check out Even If Ministry's Instagram because it'll make you happy.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Yes. And that is our handle for all of Even If stuff is @weareevenif. So you'll be able to find both of those things.
Stephanie Daniels:
Renee, thank you for loving Jesus like you do, and representing Him so well, and being just so precious. We absolutely love you around here at Joni and Friends, and thank you so much for joining us back on the podcast today.
Renee Dollenmayer:
Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun.
Stephanie Daniels:
We hope this conversation touched your heart today. If it did, consider sharing it with someone who might be encouraged as well. And don’t forget to follow us on your favorite podcasting app so you never miss an episode. See you next week!
© Joni and Friends