In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, author Katie Blackburn shares her journey as a single mom of six, raising a son with severe autism. With vulnerability and wisdom, Katie reflects on how God meets us in our limits: not with quick fixes, but with sustaining mercy.
In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, author Katie Blackburn shares her journey as a single mom of six, raising a son with severe autism. With vulnerability and wisdom, Katie reflects on how God meets us in our limits: not with quick fixes, but with sustaining mercy.
From the unexpected joy of a disability baseball league to the power of community in breaking isolation, Katie reminds us that we are not meant to do the hard things alone. She also shares practical encouragement for parents, churches, and anyone longing to better support the disability community.
This episode is a tender invitation to embrace grace in the middle of chaos, to find purpose in the present moment, and to trust that even when life looks different than we imagined, God is still writing a beautiful story.
Get your copy of Katie’s book: The Very Best Baseball Game
Find out more about Katie and connect with her at KatieBlackburn.com and on Instagram at @katiemblackburn
Listen to Jerry Sittser’s podcast episode: How to Grow through Significant Loss and Grief
KEY QUESTIONS:
KEY SCRIPTURES:
Stephanie Daniels:
Hi friends! I’m your host, Stephanie Daniels, and you’re listening to the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast. We’re sharing hope as we answer real questions about disability. Join us every week for an honest and encouraging conversation, along with practical ways to include people with disability in your church and community. So, grab a seat, and let’s jump in!
Well today, I am so excited to welcome Katie Blackburn to the podcast. As an author, speaker, and Mama to six sweet kiddos, Katie is consumed with pouring herself out, whether it's writing blog content or stewarding the hearts of her children. Facing an autism diagnosis for one of her children in October of 2016, and the end of her marriage in 2023, Katie has learned several truths about who God is and what grace for grace really means. Her heart is all about knowing Jesus and putting words on paper, and she joins us here today to talk about it all. Welcome to the podcast Katie.
Katie Blackburn:
Thank you so much for having me. That was a really kind and generous introduction, Stephanie. Thank you.
Stephanie Daniels:
Well, it's just so true. I feel like every time I talk to you, I am talking to a long time friend, so we're really glad you're here. You're a writer, and aside from your blog, you've written the most precious book and it's called the Very Best Baseball Game.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Can you share the journey of this idea and what prompted you to write this book? And then tell us a little bit about your family.
Katie Blackburn:
Oh, I'd love to. As you mentioned, I have six kids from ages 13 to four. And my second oldest, my son Cannon, is eleven and he was diagnosed with severe limited verbal communication.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Autism.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
When he was two years old. As a big family, one of the things that I always wanted for all of my kids was just to be able to participate in, I, I'm going to use, I'm going to use the word normal, but I don't actually feel like that is the right word. I'm not sure what is like a normal childhood anymore.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
But just things that, you know, children without disabilities get to do: sports, gymnastics classes, karate classes, and certainly a little league baseball team.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
My other kids have really benefited from being part of recreational sports and being part of groups. And so that was not gonna be the same journey for my guy with his specific behavior challenges.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure.
Katie Blackburn:
And communication challenges with autism. And then a couple years ago, somebody at our local little league who has a child with Down syndrome, who felt the same about his son, who's, you know, watched his brothers play sports. He thought, you know, my son wants a place to play too. And I know these, teams out there, they exist and I'm just I'm gonna find a model and we're gonna start one.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And so invited Canon to join and it just became such a special thing.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
For my whole family. Because when you have a child with a disability. You always feel a little bit on the outside.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Because my child can't do that. They can't sit and wait through that. They can't follow the rules. They wouldn't be safe in that situation, whatever it is. And let me tell you, when you get a group of kids who all have severe enough disabilities that they can't be mainstreamed into...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
A typical sports league.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
But you're all together and all of the parents are together.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It is. It is this, it is just the, the sweetest time. And so as a writer, I was approached about writing a children's book, and at first it didn't have any ideas for it. I write for grownups.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Right.
Katie Blackburn:
You know, for the most part. And I was having lunch with one of my friends and telling her about baseball and how fun it was. And she kinda stopped me and she's like, "Katie, why don't you write that story for a children's book?"
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And I just, it was like an aha moment.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
I thought, that's such a great idea. And Stephanie, I'm not kidding. I sat down and I wrote the entire manuscript in 90 minutes.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
Because it just was so real and true and genuine to our experience.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
In the disability community and there's so many challenges in the disability community, but for that hour it doesn't feel like a challenge. It feels like a grace. And so the manuscript just poured outta me so quickly. It was such a, a fun thing to write.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And I decided to write it from the perspective of one of the volunteers. So the, main character in that book.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
The narrator, I should say does not have a disability, but he's learning.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
He's learning what it looks like to engage differences and to see the image of God in every person and to see how. We're the same.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
As opposed to all the ways we're different and we are different.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And it's okay to acknowledge that and hold that, but there's a lot of ways we're not different...
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
From our brothers and sisters with disabilities too. And so it's this young man learning that through a baseball game.
Stephanie Daniels:
Absolutely. Well, as I was reading your book, and I think you use the term buddies and...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
That is a term that we have used at our Family Retreats.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so, you know, volunteers will come in and they're paired as buddies with a family retreat attendee who has special needs. And so I felt like it was kind of similar in that way.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I think that is so neat how you wrote that in 90 minutes. What a neat opportunity to just speak from real life experience and, I'm telling you, I sat there at the kitchen table reading your book, and my husband was in the room and I was like, Paul, Paul, I have to start this over and read this to you. And we were both in tears. It's just so sweet I love how you capture just the different nuances of each player and explained what they were doing and...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Just I could sense that. Now what's it like relating to those parents? Are you sharing stories or do you feel like you're really building community? Does it feel
Katie Blackburn:
like, yeah, it's
Stephanie Daniels:
family getting together? What's that like?
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm. It is, you know, there's something about when you connect with another disability parent...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
You don't need any sort of small talk because you understand the context of one another's lives.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
In a way that even people from your church or just people who you do everyday life with.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Your best friends, if they don't also have a child with a disability, they don't fully understand some of the very real pain points
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
Of severe disability.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
But when you show up to this baseball game, you could have just met somebody and two minutes into the conversation you're deep diving into, "Oh, okay. So, yeah, tell me about that. You deal with that behavior too? So what have you found that helps, what have you, found that doesn't?"
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
You just don't, you don't need a lot of, "Well, the weather's nice today, isn't it?"
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It's, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you just, connect so easily.
Stephanie Daniels:
Love that.
Katie Blackburn:
'Cause you have this common experience.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That, we certainly didn't choose it. Our children didn't choose these limits either, but we're out here celebrating not the limits...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
But the possibilities that they have.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's good.
Katie Blackburn:
And feels like instant community. And that is...
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that.
Katie Blackburn:
That is, that's a gift. I did not know when my son was first diagnosed... I'm kind of a, "Hey, let's make a checklist and get it done and tackle this difficulty."
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And the one thing that was not on my checklist, right... I was like, well, I'll read all the books. I'll do all the right diets. I'll find the right supplements. I'll just do everything to make this as smooth...
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure, yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
As possible. What was not on my checklist was get in community stat.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
With other parents who get it. You need it. You need to cry with people. Because I do think one of the, enemy's tactics that's gonna rob you...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Of joy in your life is making you feel isolated. Like, I'm the only one.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I am the only one. There are moments that are lonely. That's true for everybody, no matter what your challenge in life is. But being in community, holds up a mirror and says but you're not. you're gonna be tempted to feel that way.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
You're gonna be tempted. You are, but you're not. So come back to center, reach out, text somebody. for example, one of my son's difficult behaviors is he hits his head when he is sensory seeking. And it, when he's really upset, that can be a really jarring, profoundly difficult thing.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure.
Katie Blackburn:
I have learned, I'm a professional sheetrock fixer. I fix holes in my wall and of our home all the time. And to text somebody who, I just can jokingly be like, had to do another mobile order from Home Depot today. And she'll be like, oh girl, me too. Oh, look how well I plastered this one. You can barely tell. And I, it's like not something I ever thought as a mom, I would celebrate. Like, look at that hole. You can't even tell it was there.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
But when you're talking to somebody who gets that, it's like, oh, I mean, I could lament this sadness or I can rejoice in the hope of heaven. And rejoice that God gave me companions to do this, very specific part of my life with.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
So...
Stephanie Daniels:
That makes me think of that saying, what is it that multiplies our joys and divides our sorrows?
Katie Blackburn:
It's, isn't it gratitude? Gratitude doubles the wonder, doubles the joy and comparison divides it?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Well, I feel like community in this...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
In this instance is what really multiplies your joy.
Katie Blackburn:
Amen, yes.
Stephanie Daniels:
And divides the sorrow, um,
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
That you can experience. So I love, love, love that. Well, in your marriage, your husband battled addiction. So what was it like walking through that and what did the Lord teach you?
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm. That is, that's a great question. It was profoundly difficult, difficult certainly for my ex-husband too. Addiction is a fight in its own right for the person struggling for me and the kids. When safety and wellbeing was too big of a concern to overlook anymore, we knew that changes did have to be made. And what it taught me, honestly, at the risk of being too trite and too simple, was to beg Jesus for mercy. Because again, the default, I, I'm a former college athlete, and so I tend to have this hardwired into my brain that you can outwork your challenges. You can outwork your problems, you can do double days and you can get stronger. That's great. It's made me gritty and a hard worker.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mmhmm.
Katie Blackburn:
It's problematic in that that's not how all of life's challenges can be...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Can be tackled, especially with something like addiction, where that's not my fight.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That's a difficult fight for somebody that I love. And so I have a role in it, obviously, and it's the same with disability. There's far more that I cannot control about disability than that I can. So for me, instead of defaulting to, well, let me just make that list and check it off, God had to teach me to actually beg him for mercy and to do what I could not do to help me discern right from wrong to help me. Discern fear from conviction and, to help me steward the lives of these six kids with a very profound loss in my life and, and in their own, and some profound life changes. There's no list that gets you through that. It is the grace of God alone and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
And for many years in my life, I couldn't really pray because I was so stressed, anxious...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Worried, all of the emotions. And I would literally just say, have mercy, God, those were the three or four words.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
I could get out of my mouth.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Because the Holy Spirit, knows the longings of our heart.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
And like Paul says, like, when we don't have the words...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Our groanings are more or less sufficient. we don't have to come to him with eloquence. The posture of my, my heart was, desperate for mercy.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Whatever that looked like.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Katie Blackburn:
I thought for a long time that the mercy was gonna be preserving my marriage. And when it became clear that that was not it, I realized that taking my kids and I out of the chaos was still a mercy.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It was still a mercy.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And that's, what I begged for. Just have mercy on us, God. Have mercy on us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I mean, millions of "have mercy on me, God" moments.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that you share that too. 'cause I think. When we are asking the Lord for mercy, it may not come like we want it. mercy, looks different.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah, Mmhmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
In my journey with my mom, she just recently passed away, I was in the space by her bedside and we're just asking God have mercy on her.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
Have mercy. And mercy looked like healing her. Not on this side of heaven though,
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
He, yeah. He took her.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so we're grateful, for his mercy in the ways that we need it. I'm curious, how have you rejected bitterness and anger through this trial? 'cause I feel like as you're talking about it, there's just a grace.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. I mean, that's the kindness of the Lord to me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
I don't think that I am anybody special or unique or certainly I am not more spiritual or holier than any anybody else. Like I'd said, I could barely pray to God.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
For three years. So there's, there was not some super secret thing that I was doing that was allowing me to, keep me from bitterness. It was the intercession of my friends and community.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
For sure. That was keeping my heart soft. It was looking at my kids and understanding they still need me. And I'm gonna tell a really quick story that I do think shaped a lot of me. when I, was a college athlete, I had a career ending knee injury, and I was devastated by it. One of the staff members on the soccer team took me out to coffee and she just listened to me cry. And " I just wanted to do soccer forever and ever, and, you know.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
She just listened to me and then finally she said something that was challenging to me.
Now I wanna preface this with, she had the relational capital with me to say this.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
This is, I'm not telling all the listeners like, lead with this, but she grabbed my hand, Stephanie, and she said, I know this is so hard, but I'm gonna give you 10 more minutes to feel sorry for yourself. Because Katie, you are too important to this team.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
You're too important to this program. We need you too much for you to lose yourself in pity. You can always come cry to me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
But I want you to get to a place where you can show up with everything that we still need from you because you're too important. I've told people that story and they're like, whoa.
That was kind of harsh of her. But she knew me well enough to know that's what I needed. I needed to know that my purpose didn't change.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
That I still had work to do.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And yes, I got to grieve. of course, grief is a voice that needs to be heard or it wells up. So yes, grieve, but you can grieve without your heart becoming hard. You really can.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And I think part of that was knowing...
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, that's good.
Katie Blackburn:
My purpose look at these six faces in front of me. They still need me. Look at all of the good work, my community, my church family. There is so much kingdom work...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That I still get to do. I heard a pastor say once, the purpose of my family is to tell the story of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit in this life.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's beautiful.
Katie Blackburn:
And I don't know what your family looks like. It probably does not look like mine, but that's the purpose. Tell the story of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, God the provider, God the rescuer, and God the convictor. And what can I do, but just show up and say we're still here.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
We're we're still trying and we are still joyful.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
Um, because of the hope we have in Jesus.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. So I think that's gotta be so comforting too, just seeing other, people show up too. And you talked about you can grieve without your heart getting hard.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I assume that is from looking around at what you do have.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You know, what is in front of you, finding things that you can be grateful for. Can you expound on that a little bit?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. I mean, that did, that doesn't happen without intention.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I had to really get some help reframing grief. And it was, honestly, spending time in the Psalms and spending time with some of the Old Testament prophets and seeing, oh man, there's nothing whitewashed about these prayers.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
And these laments,
Stephanie Daniels:
mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And there is not one indication that God is disappointed in the honest cries.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Of, David, an obvious example. Where are you? God.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I feel deserted by you. Everything is crashing around me. Where are you? I think it was Gideon who was more or less like, I don't wanna do this. I'm, I'm out.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Like, like literally Take my life, Lord. I'm out. Jeremiah hanging in the stocks, grieving.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
What, what is this? Ezekiel's life was, oh, there is, there is no precedent for "I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine."
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Somehow I got in my head that, a good Christian just didn't complain, wasn't sad when I was able to freely figure out that that is false.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Doesn't mean you're doubting, it doesn't mean you're deconstructing. It doesn't mean you are not so in love with Jesus.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And so grateful for the good news that saves us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Those can exist right alongside Where are you, God.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Like where are you in my day today? Where are you when my son is struggling so much, he's putting holes in the wall. Where are you when I am so stressed out about the loss of my marriage? Like, where are you?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
He's like, I'm right here in it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
Just show up today. And show up again. The next day you will laugh again. You will smile again. I am just as near to you as I've always been.
Stephanie Daniels:
Amen.
Katie Blackburn:
And having people remind me of that. is important. You can't always see it when you're right. right in the middle of it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. That's so good. Such a good reminder.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Where have you seen God show up most unexpectedly in your story?
Katie Blackburn:
In my kids.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that.
Katie Blackburn:
In their resilience. And As they get older and they have more kind of just intellectual constructs for addiction...
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure.
Katie Blackburn:
For what that looks like and means and really understanding their dad's struggle.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That will be harder and different. And they're gonna need a lot of good counseling. They just, they just will, they will not leave my home with all of their spiritual, emotional, or mental health needs met. And I believe Jesus will hold them like he has held them.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. 100%.
Katie Blackburn:
'Cause my kids are so full of joy still. Part of that, Stephanie, without a doubt, has been that the community of people around us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Without a doubt. Because they had a significant trauma. And I learned this when I got divorced, I had to take a course, you know, through the courts on "sharing the children" is what it was called. And they talked about adverse childhood experiences and divorce is one of 'em. And so that's a, that's a trauma that they have to deal with. But then there's this adverse childhood experiences scale and you give your kids a score and it's really devastating. 'Cause the higher their score, the more likely they're to have kind of some adverse outcomes in their life. But then there's a childhood resilience scale. And the science, every single one of the questions on childhood resilience talks about do you know somebody who loves you? Do you have a safe person who you can call who's not your mom and dad? Do you, uh, feel like you have a neighbor that you can react? It's all about community.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
So think about that, the resilience of our kids. And it's true for us too. It's so true for us too. Our resilience. Is just scientifically wrapped up in who can we reach out and grab hands with.
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
No matter what we've been through, and this sort of connects with what I said earlier, if the enemy can make you think you're alone in something.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right. Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
That's the hard part. It's less what we are going through because everybody is going through or will go through something hard.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
For me, it's, it's significant disability and divorce, Stephanie, you just, you just experienced a major loss in your life and you have grieved other things. Everybody does.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
This is the world we live in, so it's not the hard stuff. It's feeling too alone to face it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
So our resilience is, who's around us that says, well I'll stand here with you.
Stephanie Daniels:
Who can I reach out to. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, that's beautiful. We need people.
Katie Blackburn:
We need people.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Not to be perfect, nobody will be perfect. They'll say a dumb thing. We'll say a dumb thing. but we still, we still just need our people. We just need our people and we need to be those people for others too.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. And be the person that will grab your face and say, Hey, you have 10 more minutes to sit in this, and then we gotta move on. I love that she did that for you.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, and you said don't lead with that. But it's true. I love it. Well, Katie, You're a single mom of six kids.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And all of them are so different. How do you manage it all your life, their needs? Like, do you ever say, and I know you said sometimes you feel like you show up some places and your hair is on fire, but it's like...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
God, I don't got this. Do you ever find yourself there?
Katie Blackburn:
Oh, Stephanie, twice a day, every day. Probably. I mean, just like from a practical standpoint, you know, because I am a single mom of six kids, like people do ask me, how do you do it? And I'm like, listen, the laundry has not been folded in two months. It just hasn't. The clothes are clean. Kids go find what you need.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
There's, there's a lot of areas in my life where I've just had to lower the bar.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Significantly.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Uh, we eat a lot of pasta for dinner. The reality is like, my home does not necessarily look like I thought it would when I became a mom.
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure.
Katie Blackburn:
With just like long lingering dinners around the table with everybody.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Oh no. if we can get everybody around the table for four minutes, that's a victory.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That's a victory. Yeah. You know, so, it's being realistic with myself about what I can do. I live with my parents currently who are an enormous hope because being a single mom of six kids and working, you just can't, you cannot do that without practical help. And so I do have two other adults around who
Stephanie Daniels:
Praise Jesus. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Praise Jesus. Again, there's community for me, it looks like my, parents who saved our life.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And so I do have help.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
You know, with picking kids up from school, if I have to work or dropping kids off, that's a vital piece of my life.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Is having them. But yes. Do I feel like, oh my gosh, I can't do all the time.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And that's just, again, that is surrendering: "Jesus be to them when I cannot be."
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Please be to them when I cannot be. like I said, they're gonna leave my home at 18 and probably feel like. My mom didn't do enough of this. I didn't get enough of this. And they will be right.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
They will be right. And I have to submit that to Jesus.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And hope that once again, their perspective on that is not, oh, having six kids and this and all of this, like robbed me of this, this, this, this, and this. What I hope it is. Oh yeah. Well it was maybe different
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Than what it looked like for some of my friends. But we did have this.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And I have six people on my sibling group chat that I can text I have no choice but to, lean into heavily. They don't have a lot, but they have each other.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. And I love that. I think that's such an important prayer to pray God.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Be what they need. What I'm not.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Make up the difference. And I believe that he can do that and they can leave not deficient, you know?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
He can.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
He can fill in all the gaps and so I'm...
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
So thankful for that sweet fact. You mentioned that you live with your parents, and so I'm curious, you know, being a single mom, what does your community look like?
Katie Blackburn:
Starts with my, closest friends, most of 'em are, people that I met either in bible studies or at church or in home groups Over the years, I have, A community of people that I've met just through writing that has been an enormous grace to me in my life. And then just, you know, people in my kids' lives that our kids run in the same circles. Yeah. And same schools, same sports, things like that. that are just integral parts
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Of my life.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I'm, I'm wondering what, with all of that going on and having to balance and juggle and all the things, what spiritual practices sustain you and time and energy and emotional bandwidth are limited?
Katie Blackburn:
My go-to in this season is breath prayers because I can get overwhelmed.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Really easily. I believe the author's name is Jennifer Tucker and she has a beautiful book of breath prayers, so I listened to that on Audible. The chapters are three to five minutes long in listening, I am loving it. Just like a deep breath in, you are the God who sees and then breathing out like, please see me in this today. Those, and I do 'em with my kids all the time. Even my son with autism, who doesn't, he can speak, but he's not overly communicative. We repeat the fruits of the spirit I say 'em and he says it so, dear God, give me love. And he'll say love. Joy, joy. Peace, peace. And I'm doing these, micro discipleship moments with my kids.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
And I'm discipling myself.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
At the same time.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so good.
Katie Blackburn:
Because we are not, in a season of life where we can sit down and do. Long Bible studies together.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
We're just not,
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It's, it's not so, so different from when I told you like, I couldn't pray anything, but Lord have mercy sometimes I still feel like that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I'm in a, a healthier, not as
Stephanie Daniels:
Sure
Katie Blackburn:
Clinging to that type of prayer myself, but just time and bandwidth wise, it's micro moments all over with myself and my kids, but that sustains all of us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I love that you said that it might be micro moments, but those turn into like macro things that like...
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
They, affect that and larger work is happening. In those micro things, and those little seeds grow into huge trees, that's beautiful. I love that you're doing that and with your son...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And, the kids.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You shared a Jerry Bridges quote that has kept you grounded in your faith. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. When I was in college, I just sort of accidentally picked up a, a small bible study by Jerry Bridges called The Discipline of Grace. I didn't know anything about it, but I just went through it on my own. And one of the things I'll always remember about that study, because we don't associate the discipline of grace, like, isn't grace just this unmerited favor?
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
We do, nothing to earn God's grace. So like, how does discipline work there?
the image that he gave that I'll always remember is life with Jesus. The life of faith is like two wings of an airplane and on one side it is total diligence.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
You gotta show up and you have to work hard and you have to be committed to things and put in effort and live with integrity and make good choices and invest in people so that you can be invest. Like there's a lot of diligence of diligent steps that we have to take in our life.
Stephanie Daniels:
Uhhuh.
Katie Blackburn:
But that airplane is not gonna fly without total dependence on the Lord.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
You absolutely have to keep both: total diligence and total dependence on Jesus. Because you, you realize like, I'm not the one making stuff happen in my life. I'm not that good.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right.
Katie Blackburn:
There's too much outside of my control.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I heard Beth Moore say this in a Bible study once, but she said if we had any idea, the battles going on for us in the heavenly realm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
That are being fought for us, that we will never see: the things that we're protected, from the things that God keeps from us, the miracles he does on a daily basis on our behalf that we will never see, we would just be humbled to death. And I just...
Stephanie Daniels:
Wow.
Katie Blackburn:
Latched onto that. Like, Lord, you are doing so much for me that I'll never see.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah,
Katie Blackburn:
That's total dependence on you and yet I know I'm responsible for these things I can control. And so that's the airplane.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That's flying dependence and diligence.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, that's beautiful. I've gotta, I've gotta sit with that one for a minute. And just also, like you said, just think about, I, I know that the angels are worried in the heavenlies for me 'cause I'm just like I'm gonna let you guys fight that battle for, for me, Katie, how do you hold on to hope that God has a plan?
Katie Blackburn:
Well, I think Jesus holds onto me first. And I just, realize that and wake up each day with that. And also, I do think when there is something very real about your life that's hard. And it's gonna be hard today and it's gonna be hard tomorrow. My son's disability will be a part of his life. It's harder for him. I wanna make sure I say that living with severe autism is very challenging for...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
The, the, the mind that has to live in the world.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
With those limits and harder for him than me. But I dunno what God can do. It's very, at this point, I think it's okay. It's for me to just live with the fact that it's very unlikely that my son will ever be independent. he'll need. Me or a caregiver for the rest of his life. so there's something about that type of grief that keeps you tethered to hope.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And that's not a bad thing. There's a wonderful book by a man named Jerry Stitzer.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
It's called A Grace Disguised, and he talks about how there's a difference between breaking a leg and having an amputated leg. And how both of those things need healing. But in one of those griefs, life can return to normal more or less.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
But, when you suffer a loss that is more like a, an an amputation, you have to relearn everything they're not measured up against each other. What's harder, what's worse? Nothing like that. The the point is when you have something in your life that forces you to, again, face that grief daily and remind you of a, a limit or something, you don't have, you're desperate for Jesus. You want the promise of him making something new...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Desperately. And I didn't arrive at that a year after my son's diagnosis. I've been, I've been living with this for a decade, and so at this point. Jesus is the best thing I've got going. He he just is.
Stephanie Daniels:
He is. He's so,
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
He's so good and so kind to us. And I can attest to that. Just walking through, losing my mom. I just did, I felt like I was being held by living hope, he's just so good to hang on to us, and, and we can stay tethered to him. I think that's so precious.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
I'm glad you mentioned Jerry Siter cause he has been on our podcast before. He was on season five, so we will definitely link that in the show notes.
Katie Blackburn:
He's incredible.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. Mm-hmm. So people can hear. Well, you and your family have an awesome Sunday routine. you attend two churches that serve your needs and your soul. So. Would you tell us about the churches you attend and kind of how your Sundays can look?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah, I am, I'm so happy to, church has been a journey. When you have a, a child with severe disabilities, you can't just drop 'em off at Sunday school. It's just not, it ain't that easy.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Nor can you just keep 'em with you in the big service. So what I have found is that I have just started to see being part of more than one church, not that you always have time for it every weekend, but I think I've started to see, I, I am very comfortable saying there's a couple churches serving my family right now because this one has a special needs service and. Most of the time you're only gonna find that at big churches that have lots of resources.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
But this one over here is, where some of my closest friends are, and I really love the preaching here. It really ministers to me. I really feel seen. And so honestly, there are some Sundays where I go with my son and I take him to the service where he can, go be in the room for other kiddos with disabilities, and then I bring them home and grandma and grandpa watch 'em, and I go to the service where I can get my soul fed in a smaller community.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I have just stopped feeling bad about that.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Sometimes I only make it to one or the other, and I just know that it's, I, I don't feel like I have to be like, this is my church and I have an allegiance to this church. And I, it's like, well. here we are just being grateful for the different ways different churches are, serving a family with unique needs.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that. I think it's easy to get to a place where we think, this is the right way to do church or...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You know, this is the right way to connect. But I think it's, freeing to see a family doing what they need to do to get what they need.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. church to me, has been a lifeline. I want everybody to be part of a local church.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And I want you to give yourself a little bit of grace in terms of like, well. Do we need to go in two groups to church? do we need to take turns?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
You know, for me, I don't, have a, a spouse at this point that we could take turns, but there were seasons of my life when I was married, and we did do that just give yourself grace.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And, and try to find joy and like, be proud of yourself for making it work the best that you can instead of feeling sorry for yourself that you have to make it work differently.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
There's a different heart posture in that
Stephanie Daniels:
100%. I know I've met families through Joni and Friends, where the, dad will sit out with. the child And just let the, the mom and, and the siblings go in and they kind of
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Switch off and take turns. And it's been so sweet I see on this one family's Instagram, the worship pastors and just other leaders and friends of the family will come out to where they are and see them and they'll interact and that's their community. they show up and they just love on them 'cause they know...
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
You're making the effort to be here. And so...
Katie Blackburn:
Mmhmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's really, precious. How would you encourage parents who aren't able to get that at their churches? like maybe they are just going for their child and then they go home.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And they, they still feel kind of empty how would you encourage them?
Katie Blackburn:
I mean, as much as you're able, I would encourage you to ask your church for what you need.
Stephanie Daniels:
Ooh.
Katie Blackburn:
And it's not from a place of like demanding or. I want you to see me feel sorry for me, I do think most church leadership has a heart for everybody.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
But if they don't have a child disability or don't spend a lot of time with someone with a disability. It's just a, it's an unintentional blind spot sometimes for churches.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That they just, they don't know what you need. They don't know how hard it is. I think that's changing and people have more compassion, but somebody might just need you to go spell it out.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
My son has been kicked out of Sunday school. He's been asked to leave for, this is when he was two. He's been asked to leave
Stephanie Daniels:
My goodness.
Katie Blackburn:
This is a small church. I cannot bring him into the big service. What can you do? And our pastor at the time, we basically went in there and said, there's an extra storage room.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Upstairs. Could we just turn that into a sensory room? That we could bring him? So, we can still bring the rest of our kids here. And he said, done deal. It's all yours.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, I love that.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. And we just cleaned out this room. It's not, it wasn't huge. And it was probably $200 to set up This is not an expensive endeavor. You just need like a beanbag and a trampoline.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It was not a big deal. You don't have to ask your church to start a whole special needs ministry. Just what can we do?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Just give us a room.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
So that he can cry or yell or be dysregulated. And I'm not in the middle of the church lobby feeling like everyone's staring at us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
Um, but the rest of my family is still here. So just, just with total humility saying this is what it's like for me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And my family. is there anything we can do to make this happen
here?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
How can you support us?
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so good.
Katie Blackburn:
Because we wanna come and they want you there. They want you there. try really hard to give charitable assumptions Sure. To your church leadership. They don't know what they don't know sometimes. And that's true in a lot of circumstances. Like just, start with charitable assumptions that they want you there.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And they wanna make it easier for you. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
We had a guest on last season, Lara Roberts.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
She has a son with autism. And she was talking about the same thing, have the conversations with your pastors sometimes they just aren't thinking about it, but when
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You talk to them, they're like, oh, we do have a room upstairs.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Or we do have this, they just need somebody to put their nose on it. Lara shared When she was here. How can the church grow without you there? So they do.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
They need you there. They need families like yours there to highlight needs.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
And so I think that you extending that grace is...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Really great and what a blessing that would be to other families.
Katie Blackburn:
Often in Christian circles, other kids, other families are not always exposed to disabilities.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
Especially severe disabilities. Because most of the services for kids with severe disabilities, they're not happening in homeschool co-ops.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Or in private school settings. And I, I know this because I ran into a lot of, "we don't have the resources for you." And so there's nothing wrong with private schools.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
But I do think that severe disability tends to be put in the public service category.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And we, we need it to be in the church body category too.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
We really do. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I like the way you put that. the church can really, we can do a lot We just gotta know.
Katie Blackburn:
Just gotta know.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Know better do better.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right?
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Exactly.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Exactly.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
You shared that a disability baseball game is the best hour of your life. From reading your book, I can kind of see why, but why is that so, and how has this baseball team given you and your family perspective on inclusivity?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. It's the best hour because you're just, you're just free. You're not managing your child's behavior because nobody cares. your child could have a meltdown at first base. Nobody cares. Nobody's looking at you sideways. does your child wanna play that day? Great. Does he not wanna play? He wants to just sit in the dirt and put dirt in his hat? Everybody's cheering him on no matter what.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
And that's, I feel that way because I've seen other kids have a total meltdown at these baseball games and you look at the other parent, you kinda go, I see you. You're not worried about the sounds your child's making. You're not worried about what he is or isn't doing. And for a disability parent's heart that spends a lot of our day managing behavior and noise level to just not have to do it for an hour...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Is a grace. And, when you get around all of these other kids and you see what they're capable of, or you see the ways that they can be served by their buddies, you are like, this is it. This is what it looks like to be the body.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
This is it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Everybody needs to get a copy of your book. I'm just, it's so sweet. Well, and how have your kids grown in seeing, inclusivity in that way?
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Has it impacted them?
Katie Blackburn:
Canons my son with autism and his five siblings are the most inclusive. My daughter, uh, my daughter's the oldest and she's the eldest daughter in every way you can imagine. But if she sees out at a park or in a public place or at the grocery store, anybody with a disability, she's got a radar for 'em. Just like, do they need protection? Do they need help? Do they, she just make sure. We were at a park maybe two years ago and there was a, a girl there who had clear disabilities, And some of the boys at the park were making fun of her. And let me tell you, my 11-year-old daughter gave those boys an education. I mean, she pulled them aside and she told them what a disability is, and she oh, she let 'em, she let 'em know. She let 'em know. And I love that about my kids. because They know what the image of God means in people, and it means that they deserve dignity and kindness.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes.
Katie Blackburn:
And not pity. Dignity is different than pity. Yeah. It's, we, we can see people in their unique challenges and be like, wow, I have such compassion for that, but dignity means, but I believe in you for a purpose too.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Katie Blackburn:
You have a mighty purpose in your life. A mighty purpose. And my kids really, they see that at the baseball field and they see it in their home, and they, they live it.
Stephanie Daniels:
How did you, how did you instill that in them? Is it just raising them with canon? Is it,
Katie Blackburn:
I think so. I, I wouldn't have thought of that before having a child with disabilities.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
But. That's one of the graces of a a life story that we didn't choose, is that some of the lessons chose us.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And God knew exactly what we needed.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's beautiful. Yeah. Well, at Joni and Friends, we host family retreats. which I alluded to earlier.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
But they're respite events for families living with disability and at these events we have a lot of siblings not only attending...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
But when they get to the right age, they are coming to serve as a buddy.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
For other families in attendance. And so I feel like your book kind of touches on this heart of volunteerism. what would you have to say to families who have never rubbed elbows with disability? I, I know that was a term you kind of used, but...
Katie Blackburn:
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
What would you say to those families and how would you encourage them to press in more and learn more?
Katie Blackburn:
This is a passion point of mine, Stephanie, because I want everybody to be exposed to the disability community. if nothing else, you are gonna be amazed at the resilience, you see.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
And I, I, I wanna make sure other disability parents know my heart is not to overlook the hard.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And to always say, this is always a gift. It's always a treasure... I don't feel that way all the time.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
I feel like my son carries a burden. So please don't hear me overly whitewash it. However, at the same time, his resilience to show up to middle school every day...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Is astounding. And I think every one of us can learn from that sort of resilience to show up to their life and to fit into a world that's not built for the disability community in the same way it's built for the typically developing community. And you can learn a lot. And I also think there's a level of perspective. That you'll gain and that your kids will gain by rubbing elbows with the disability community. You know, When I wrote this book, I wanted kids, to think about what are the gifts that you have, what are you really good at, and how can you use those things to serve others? So in the book, the question is, so you're really good at baseball, right? That's something you're good at. How can you use that gift and that love for baseball to go help somebody who loves it too, but he maybe needs a little help following the rules.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And so I want people, kids and adults to think about. What am I good at and how can I help somebody who maybe just needs that gift in their life?
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Because they have a gift that you need too.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Maybe it's just a gift of perspective. There's absolutely not a world in which we don't need something that somebody in the disability community has to offer.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so beautiful. what I have loved too, is just rubbing elbows with that community, the heart of love and
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Service that that develops in you. Serving at family retreats, I was like, what in the world am I feeling?
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I love this community and I...
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
I can't let a summer go by without rubbing shoulders and elbows with them because I love them so much. So this is like, this has changed my heart and everybody needs to be a part of it.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah. The disability community is, is part of the kingdom of God too.
Stephanie Daniels:
Absolutely.
Katie Blackburn:
And the body of Christ too. if we really believe that...
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Then we'll engage them.
Stephanie Daniels:
They were created for His good pleasure too. that is one of the things I learned just when I would go lead worship at a family retreat They're worshiping Jesus just like I am.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
How can we help people develop hearts of compassion for those with disabilities?
Katie Blackburn:
I think we just, we keep telling the stories of the voices that are quieter. We put good children's books in front of 'em. I mean, shameless plug for mine, but there are plenty of great books out there.
Stephanie Daniels:
Oh, yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
On disability. Put these in front of your kids early.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Keep talking about it. when you see somebody in public with a disability, you don't have to run away.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Tell your kids what you're seeing. that person is in a wheelchair and they need a little help up that curb or, It looks like that little boy might, learn differently than you, or he might feel differently than you. So he's having a hard time.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
You know, you don't have to act like it's this, forbidden thing when you see it in, in public and shoo your kids away. Just talk about it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Edify it.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. I think that's one of the things that has been
Katie Blackburn:
mm-hmm.
Stephanie Daniels:
Most shocking for me having vitiligo, a friend of mine, his son when he was younger he was looking at me, but asking his dad Does, does that hurt? He was so curious, and his dad was like, why don't you ask her? And I just loved that. It's, not treating it like it's leprosy, but saying, that's just something that makes them unique and special.
Katie Blackburn:
Mm-hmm. And I think parents can really give their kids permission...
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
By a response like that.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love that. Take the stigma out of it. What would you say to the person who doesn't think they have what they need to do what God is asking of them?
Katie Blackburn:
Hmm. I would say that you're okay to feel that way. That's normal. A lot of times we don't feel like we have what we need, whether it's time, patience, money.
Stephanie Daniels:
Mm-hmm.
Katie Blackburn:
Support. But a practice that has really helped me, it's a, it's an act of faith.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
It's an act of faith to say, I don't feel like I can do this right now. God, I don't feel like I have everything I need to handle this little boy in front of me. That's my story. Right? But you must think I do.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yep.
Katie Blackburn:
That I can get through this moment right now.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, that's good.
Katie Blackburn:
And to stop catastrophizing the future.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
That's when it gets scary. Listen, if I think about like all the care my son is gonna need forever today, I don't have it. So I try to be a good steward and a good planner and seek good wisdom for the future. And then I go back to just today. You must think I've got what it takes today.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And I usually find when you, when you break it down to just this moment, help me just to survive this meltdown.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
Help me to fix this hole in the wall. Help me to get through this moment.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah.
Katie Blackburn:
And then your life becomes a series of moments that you did survive. And then over time, that gives you confidence that you'll survive the future once too.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so faith building.
Katie Blackburn:
Yeah.
Stephanie Daniels:
Katie, this has been such a beautiful time. I love talking with you. You are filled with just so much insight and wisdom and I just wanna know where can people find your writing? How can they connect with you?
Katie Blackburn:
I'm on Instagram at @katiemblackburn. And Substack gets probably most of my thoughts and space. It's just Katie Blackburn on Substack. So love to connect with other readers. Listeners and disability parents anytime.
Stephanie Daniels:
I keep mentioning the book that you've written. Where can people find your book?
Katie Blackburn:
The very best baseball game. Yeah, you can get it anywhere. Books are sold. It's on Amazon, on the lifeway website, lifeway's the publisher, Christian book.com You can get it wherever books are sold.
Stephanie Daniels:
Well, you can go there, friends, buy several copies and give them as gifts...
Katie Blackburn:
Oh!
Stephanie Daniels:
To friends because it is just a sweet read. Thank you so much for everything that you've shared with us today. You are filled with so much grace. I feel like you, rely on grace, but you extend it so well. And so this has just been a super sweet time. Katie, thank you so much for joining us today to just share your life with us.
Katie Blackburn:
Oh my joy. Thank you for having me.
Stephanie Daniels:
Absolutely.
We hope this conversation touched your heart today. If it did, consider sharing it with someone who might be encouraged as well. And don’t forget to follow us on your favorite podcasting app so you never miss an episode. See you next week!
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