Tune in as host Crystal Keating talks with Stephanie Daniels, who is sharing the mic this season. Stephanie opens up about poignant aspects of her story, including the challenges navigating the disabilities of aging parents, and coping with the onset of an autoimmune disease, all while seeking God’s guidance. Don’t miss this encouraging episode that will inspire you to praise God in all circumstances and tap into the deep, peaceful joy that comes from trusting Jesus.
Tune in as host Crystal Keating talks with Stephanie Daniels, who is sharing the mic this season. Stephanie opens up about poignant aspects of her story, including the challenges navigating the disabilities of aging parents, and coping with the onset of an autoimmune disease, all while seeking God’s guidance. Don’t miss this encouraging episode that will inspire you to praise God in all circumstances and tap into the deep, peaceful joy that comes from trusting Jesus.
Crystal Keating has been part of Joni and Friends for over 10 years helping the ministry answer thousands of calls, letters, and messages about disability and holding fast to hope in Jesus through life’s greatest hardships. Crystal and the Response Team offer resources, share encouragement from God’s Word, and connect those in need with Christ-honoring, disability-friendly churches. Her prayer for the Ministry Podcast is that each conversation will help listeners and their loved ones “bear much fruit” (John 15:8) in acts of love throughout the disability community.
Stephanie Daniels serves as Community Engagement Specialist at Joni and Friends and she is always ready to share words of biblical encouragement on the Joni and Friends social media accounts. She has a heart for worship and is passionate about encouraging, equipping, and empowering the body of Christ. Stephanie hopes the podcast will encourage everyone who hears it and inspire each listener to lean even more deeply into Jesus.
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Crystal Keating:
This is the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast and I’m your host Crystal Keating. Each week we’re bringing you encouraging conversations about finding hope through hardship and practical ways that you can include people living with disability in your church and community. As you listen, visit joniandfriends.org/podcast to access the resources we mention, or to send me a message with your thoughts.
Stephanie Daniels joins me on the show today as we talk about the ministry podcast and learn more about Stephanie, who has served as a faithful encourager for our Joni and Friends online community.
Stephanie serves in many other ways, including leading worship at our Joni and Friends retreats, and is on the front lines as a caregiver to her parents. Stephanie loves the Lord and has wrestled in her own faith with grief over developing vitiligo. And I'm so excited to get to know Stephanie better as we spend time with some real talk about the hard and good life God has given to us.
Stephanie, it's so good to be with you today in person. I'm so glad. Oh, I'm so glad we can have a heart-to-heart and our listeners can learn even more about who you are. Welcome to the podcast!
Stephanie Daniels:
Thank you, friend. I'm so glad to be here in person. Live right across the table, looking at your face and just being in the room. It's so exciting.
Crystal Keating:
It is so exciting. And it's just so fun to have a person in the flesh. There's just something really special about being face to face.
Stephanie Daniels:
100%.
Crystal Keating:
So it's great. And I just feel like I have a partner in the ministry and that's why we're here to talk. So I'd love to just start out with getting to know you better. How did you get connected with the ministry of Joni and Friends?
Stephanie Daniels:
Yes. So as you mentioned, I lead worship at church and from time to time I would do some singing engagements out and about town. I worked at a store called Anthropology, and my friend, her sister was a Family Retreat director and so I was singing in the store one day and her sister came in and we ended up chatting after my set and she was like, “We need a Family Retreat worship leader. Would you be interested?”
And I was like, “Camp songs?” And I hadn't really done that in a long time, led worship for like kids. Yeah. I just felt like the Lord was like, “Hey, step out and do it.” So I accepted the call and I have been hooked ever since. That was in, I think, 2018 was my first Family Retreat to participate in. After that week, I said, I don't ever want another summer to go by that I'm not a part of this. So it has really been such an enriching experience. And that was my first time to even hear about Joni.
Crystal Keating:
Oh, I wondered. That was my question. Had you heard about Joni and Friends? Did you know Joni's story?
Stephanie Daniels:
I knew nothing. And I really felt like I lived under a rock. I, to come into this Joni and Friends world, hear from Joni, hear about Joni, and know that her story is really well known. And to find that out, and to know that I knew nothing about it, I was shocked.
Crystal Keating:
That's so neat. Okay, I, for number one, I love Anthropology. They have really nice clothes. But number two, okay, you were singing in Anthropology. That's such a God thing, I think.
Stephanie Daniels:
Can I tell you how much of a God thing that is? So, I grew up singing in church. And what I loved is it wasn't overtly Christian music that I'd be singing, but I'm telling you, my coworkers at the store would be like, “Stephanie, there are women crying in the fitting room.” And women would just stay there.
They would linger because they felt the presence of the Lord. That's what I love about the anointing. If your heart belongs to the Lord, if it's his, if you are his child, he will use you in any space that you allow yourself to be used. So it was such a blessing to me to be able to do that because that was a way to shine the light of Jesus to people who may not know him.
Crystal Keating:
Wow. You're trying on your dress and you're just like, “The Lord is in this place.” That is, that is God's way though, right? He touches us wherever we go and wherever we are. When we say yes, he continues to fill us and work through us. So okay. That's how you got connected with the ministry of Joni and Friends.
Stephanie, I'd love to hear more about your own family and how you have intersected with disability through your life. Was working with people with disabilities or kids ever something on your radar?
Stephanie Daniels:
Honestly, it never was. It wasn't until about high school that my best friend, her brother had Prader-Willi syndrome. And I got to watch her love on her brother and her mom lovingly care for John David. And it's funny because she actually knew about Joni and she never told me.
But she'd read Joni's story, all the things. But I got to watch them love on that boy who was really a miracle. Wasn't supposed to live past the age of four and now he's in his forties. Just the way they loved on him, it really ministered to me. So that was my first up-close exposure to disability.
When disability came on the radar with me personally was when my dad started to lose his vision to glaucoma and I was about 16. And I'll just never forget the night he called and he had pulled over on the expressway cause he couldn't get home. He just had to pull over. It was dark out, and he worked about 30 minutes from the house.
So we had to drive out and meet him on the expressway and one of us had to drive him home and just watching him grieve the loss of his vision, coming to grips with that was so difficult because he's always been so independent. And he was, both my parents did well, but he really was the breadwinner.
So just to see him resign to that fact that, “This is what my life is now,” and I have to slow down and be dependent on others, that was really hard to watch.
Crystal Keating:
Did he have to stop working?
Stephanie Daniels:
He didn't completely stop working. My sister started working with him. He's in real estate. She was his assistant and would drive him to work.
Crystal Keating:
She could be his eyes.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, absolutely. And then he also had great partners that he worked with that would drive him around to site visits and that sort of thing. So he was just very dependent on the people around him.
Crystal Keating:
Were you part of his support team, caregiving team. What was your role, even as a teenager?
Stephanie Daniels:
It was interesting as our family had to start adapting to his needs. We had somebody from the Lighthouse for the Blind come to the house and we started to just look at different areas in the house, in the kitchen, in the refrigerator.
How do we label things so that he can see what he's wanting to get out of the refrigerator? How do we help him when we put food on his plate? “Hey Dad, you've got chicken at 12 o'clock, mashed potatoes at 4 o'clock, and a salad at six. That's just how we had to orient him and reorient ourselves and it was just a learning curve for everybody
Crystal Keating:
How was that for you emotionally as a teen and then in the college years?
Stephanie Daniels:
He didn't let us see him sweat. He still sold homes and still hustled.
Crystal Keating:
That's amazing.
Stephanie Daniels:
It was amazing and I appreciate that fight in him. I got to watch him firsthand, and I really feel like we didn't miss a beat as a family because he had help and so he still thrived in his work and I'm just thankful to the Lord for that, for the way that God provided for our family, even with that obstacle.
My dad just, he came through in every way. And I'm just so thankful. He knew he had people to provide for, so he did the best he could. I think that's a testament to the goodness of God, for sure. Now fast forward to two years ago, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. That has been devastating. We never thought that would ever hit our family. We didn't know anybody in our family had ever had that before.
A few years ago, my mom's aunt was diagnosed with it, and I was like, “Oh, that must, it's a one off.” And then, we start noticing things, and we're like, “Mom, we’ve got to get you tested. We're worried about your brain.” And I'll never forget the day she was diagnosed. I wondered if she completely comprehended what was being told to her. And I believe she did because just the way her shoulders slumped and you could see the disappointment. I was disappointed. It was a lot, but that's just been that's been very hard; we've been grieving ever since we got the news because she's different. Two years later, she's completely different than the sassy, fun, “Let's get up, let's go to Chico's,” and, she just, she loved Chico's. TJ Maxx, “I want to go to the Maxx!” That's what she'd say. We miss that lady.
Crystal Keating:
Is your mom living at home with you guys still or your dad?
Stephanie Daniels:
Upon her diagnosis we had some decisions to make, and we ended up having to put my mom in a group home.
Crystal Keating:
That is such a hard decision for families to make. You feel so torn between they want to stay in their home, but maybe a care facility would be the best and safest place for our loved ones.
Stephanie Daniels:
100% because you never know what kind of traits your loved one will exhibit when they have that diagnosis. Are they going to be somebody who is a deserter? And she got out of the house a few times and my sister, thankfully, was living with them.
Crystal Keating:
She ran away? Did she know where she was going?
Stephanie Daniels:
She didn't. We found her outside a few times and my sister—she works from home—she was upstairs and looked out the window and saw my mom outside and was able to find her. And now there was one day my mom got out, my sister didn't know where she was and my mom got locked out of the house.
We were just like, “We can't have this happen.” This can't just happen during the day and my sister's busy and not able to get to her, and because my dad is blind and his hearing is not as great. He's 84 now. She's so quiet. And so she would just sneak out and nobody would know.
Crystal Keating:
So it's for her own safety that this decision was made.
Stephanie Daniels:
We had to do it and the accidents that were happening, we needed help and so we made the decision to put her in a group home and we're thankful because she will get the interaction she needs and, so far, it's been a good decision for our family.
Now that does leave my dad, who's 84 and blind, at home by himself, and he is not wanting to leave his home. So we're having to work with him and just really make sure that he has what he needs and support him in this transition time.
Crystal Keating:
When we have loved ones who are in a continuous state of struggle, they occupy a part of our brain and hearts, right? I'm sure you're always thinking about your mom. You're always thinking about your dad, even when you're working here or you're with your husband. There's always a part of you that your heart is with them. And I think that's where it's like, “Lord, in this life, we are going to face so many troubles that either we can't make sense of or just seem like, ‘How is this going to get better?’ I just take heart, Lord, you're going to redeem all these things someday.”
And even if we can't see what may come, even though I know you've seen the blessings in it, I keep going back to that. If heaven were not real, like what hope would we have that one day your dad's going to completely see again and your mom's going to come back to herself? She's going to be that fun person that wants to go shopping and can make a snarky joke or whatever. She will come back to herself.
And not only that, but you'll see her free of all of the corruption of sin and the degradation that happens to our body. It's just such a hopeful thing, but it doesn't minimize the fact that you are here and now, and this is happening in your family.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah, it does. It makes me so thankful that Christ has the final say, he has the final word. And so when they do transition from this earth, that glorified, restored body is what they're going to be walking in and I'm so thankful. But one thing I do pray for them a lot, and for me, when I'm feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, I just thank the Lord for his peace and I pray for my parents that they would both experience deep peace and that they would encounter his presence in this space.
Mom just loved to go to church, loved to be in the house of the Lord. Loved to worship. Loved to pray. And now she doesn't do that as often. My prayer for them is that they would just constantly experience the Lord and encounter his sovereign grace and mercy in the spaces where they are.
Crystal Keating:
And that just speaks of our need to be praying for our loved ones on a continuous basis and to have our church come around and pray for them too. We've talked about this so many times on the podcast. The church has to go to its people. And I just invite you if you're feeling God nudge your heart even now, think about the people in your community or in your neighborhood or in your friends’ families that maybe are feeling shut in or are in a care facility and they can't go to church like they used to. Bring God's presence to them. It says that is “Christ in you, the hope of glory,” right? It is the Holy Spirit in you that shines the light and the love and the comfort that defines who God is.
Stephanie Daniels:
Along that line, my father-in-law was also very sick, and at one point he was in the hospital for months, literal months, probably like six months he was in the hospital, fighting for his life, and our church small group rallied around us. We would take over a waiting room.
Crystal Keating:
Amazing.
Stephanie Daniels:
We would take over a waiting room. Other families would be there waiting like for their loved one. And our small group would bring food and they would just encourage us and they would feed us. And we really felt the joy of the Lord in that space. And what was so beautiful is they would come and they would pray with us and encourage us, but they'd also pray with and encourage the other families that were waiting for their loved ones.
And can I just say, one day one of the elders from our church was there praying with my husband and he started praying with another man whose wife had been in a coma. As they were praying, the nurse rushes in to get this man and they took him back to the room and his wife had woken up, in the middle of them praying.
Crystal Keating:
Out of a coma.
Stephanie Daniels:
Out of a coma. I'm telling you, she woke up and so he ran out of there shouting for joy. It was one of the most beautiful things. So I think that is just a powerful revelation. Just like, God, I believe he still does miracles. His power still works. And so even if you are going through your own struggle, if you find yourself in a place of need, I think when you can bless others in your place of need, God, you're not forgotten.
He doesn't forget that you have a need as well. And I believe that he's faithful to minister to what you have going on as well.
Crystal Keating:
He certainly is. And what a confirmation that he inhabits the praise of his people, right? And to praise him, even when we feel like, “I've got nothing left, but Lord, I'm going to give you the praise.”
Okay. Stephanie, you have been through so much and in the midst of it, you developed something called vitiligo. And you talked a little bit about it with Joni, with your conversation with her, but I'd love if you could just share a little bit more about what it is, how it developed and how it's impacting you.
Stephanie Daniels:
Yeah. So I just remember when I was growing up, I saw a little girl that went to our school and she had a severe case of vitiligo. So you really see it on people of color. You see it very well. It stands out because you start to lose your pigment which is what gives your skin its color. I started to get white lesions on my body.
And so that's what I saw in this little girl when I was growing up and I was like, “Oh my gosh, how terrible. That is not anything that I would ever want.” And then fast forward to when I got married back in 2005, I noticed a white spot under my arm and I was like, “What is happening?”
And I hadn't gotten diagnosed with Graves’ disease yet, but that was like…I know. Mic drop.
Crystal Keating:
My face just showed a look of shock. You can't see me.
Stephanie Daniels:
There's that too. Yeah, we had so much going on. It was a lot of stress. When we were planning my wedding, I noticed a white spot under my armpit and from there, just didn't really think about it. Just kept planning, getting ready to move and things started to progress with my skin. Especially after the wedding. We got settled into ministry in North Carolina, and things just went haywire. I started having hot flashes and just not feeling like myself. And I've never had hot flashes like this. Pins and needle hot flashes.
Crystal Keating:
And you're young.
Stephanie Daniels:
And I'm young. I'm 23. So pins and needle hot flashes, sweating like I just ran a marathon and I'm like, “What is happening?” So we were in North Carolina for five months. Things didn't work out, we moved back home so there was more stress, and I end up going to a doctor and get diagnosed with Graves’ disease.
And he was telling me that other autoimmune diseases can get kicked off due to stress and other factors in your life when you have one main autoimmune disease. So it kicked off vitiligo and I thought back to the little girl that I saw growing up and I was like, “Oh, Lord Jesus, what am I going to do?”
I found my identity in my beauty, in the way I dressed, in my popularity. And so I can look at that now and say that this has been a bit of a gift because it pulled back the curtain on what I was placing a lot of weight on and realizing I was putting weight on things that didn't matter.
You know, what matters is my heart, where my heart is, how I'm serving the Lord, how I'm loving him, how I'm loving people. And I was just so self-centered and focused on myself. And so that vitiligo has really stripped me of being super consumed with me.
Crystal Keating:
It makes me think of Katherine Wolf, our friend Katherine Wolf. I'm sure you know her story. She was on the podcast many seasons ago. But she was a model and a bit of an actress. She is gorgeous. She is gorgeous and she suffered a life changing brain stem stroke that radically altered her figure and smile.
And she says this, and it just rings true with what you're saying. She said, “While my face wasn't a major focus in the early years of my recovery, I felt stung by the experiences of a child walking up to me at the mall and asking me what was wrong with my face, a well-meaning friend awkwardly suggesting I put on my sunglasses for the picture, or feeling utterly ashamed at my reflection in the mirror.
Those heartbreaks presented me with much deeper questions about who I am and what I actually valued. If I had never really cared much about my appearance, why was I so hurt when my beauty took a new form? Is it okay to feel sad about things on the outside, not looking how you want them to look? Have I gone to such extremes to regain my smile for vain purposes? Moreover, was all of that, a total of over 25 hours of surgery and two weeks in the hospital, for nothing?”
But she goes on to basically reflect what you're saying, that God has a way of humbling us so that we may find joy in the deeper, greater, eternal things.
It's not to say that beauty is not a great thing. God made this world beautiful. He's an amazing creator but when those things are taken away, God has this power of wiping away the dross and bringing forth what's really important.
Stephanie Daniels:
Right, that's so true very similar to what she's saying. I had put so much weight in the way that I looked and when I started getting this I said, “Okay God, help me to be okay with what you're doing because I believe he allows things in our lives so that he can get the glory. And I know he wants to shine through every area of your life, of my life, of Katherine Wolf's life. Which he is. You can see her and I love that.
Katherine, Joni, they may be broken, but that is an opportunity for them to share what God has done in and through them. I see powerful women like that and I'm like, “God, I want to be that way too. I want to shine forth your glory in every way. So if you want to use vitiligo in my life, use it, God, use it for your glory.”
But also I did pray, I said, “God, if you can heal it, if you can take it away, please do. But if not, help me to be okay with what you're writing in my life. Help me to be okay with what you're calling me to do, with the cross that you're calling me to carry. Help me to carry it.” I believe the Lord has brought a lot of healing to my heart and helped to adjust my focus in this area.
Crystal Keating:
I love that prayer and I know God will honor it.
It has been such a joy to sit with you and get to know you better. I just love your heart and the hope that you have in God. And I know that as we work together on the Ministry Podcast that these important conversations are continuing to bring encouragement to people, especially because you can relate and you can be an encouragement to them. So thank you so much for joining me today.
Stephanie Daniels:
It's been an absolute pleasure, Crystal. I love you. I love your heart and I'm excited for what the Lord is going to have happen with us working together.
Crystal Keating:
Thank you for listening today. For more episodes, find us wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to subscribe. We’d also love it if you would tell a friend. And for more encouragement, follow Joni and Friends on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. And visit our website at joniandfriends.org/podcast. Thank you for listening to the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast.
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