Cami Lundt didn’t expect any surprises with her fourth pregnancy… until the doctor broke the shocking news. Baby Grace was diagnosed with trisomy 13 and a Dandy-Walker brain malformation—conditions that doctors considered “incompatible with life.” The baby, they said, had a 99.9% chance of dying just minutes after her birth. But God had a different plan. For almost five years, Cami and her family got to love and care for Grace, walking her home to heaven. Tune in to hear Cami’s story, and learn how God can meet you with his peace and strength, even in the most devastating circumstances.
Cami Lundt didn’t expect any surprises with her fourth pregnancy… until the doctor broke the shocking news. Baby Grace was diagnosed with trisomy 13 and a Dandy-Walker brain malformation—conditions that doctors considered “incompatible with life.” The baby, they said, had a 99.9% chance of dying just minutes after her birth. But God had a different plan. For almost five years, Cami and her family got to love and care for Grace, walking her home to heaven. Tune in to hear Cami’s story, and learn how God can meet you with his peace and strength, even in the most devastating circumstances.
After Grace’s death, Cami went into the healthcare field for several years. She has since returned to her teaching career in Wisconsin, as a Special Education Teacher, hoping to help those who find themselves in situations similar to what she experienced.
Get your copy of Cami’s book: Walking Her Home: Learning to Say, “Your Will, Not Mine”
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Joni and Friends envisions a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ. Founded by Joni Eareckson Tada, we provide Christ-centered care through Joni's House, Wheels for the World, and Retreats and Getaways, and offer disability ministry training.
Crystal Keating: Faced with carrying a child who was not compatible with life, that was just one of the many challenges Cami Lundt faced as she walked her precious child home to heaven. Cami joins us to share firsthand about the pregnancy, life, and death of her daughter, as well as how God sustained her marriage and family when it was challenged.
Are you carrying more than you can bear? Through Cami sharing openly about her fears, insecurities, and grief, it is our hope you will learn how God's preparation, provision, peace, and strength in the most devastating of circumstances can also be yours. Welcome to the podcast, Cami. It's an honor to speak with you today.
Cami Lundt: Thank you so much, Crystal.
Crystal Keating: I would love if you would take us back to the day when you received the troubling news from your doctors about your unborn daughter that would change your life forever. What was going through your mind as you considered the precious life of your child, your family, and the future? What was that like for you?
Cami Lundt: Well, you know, I had three healthy children already and I just did not anticipate any issues or problems at all because I took my children to the ultrasound. My husband was busy working that day and he wasn't able to make it. So when I went to that initial ultrasound with them and the doctor made a couple comments about her brain measurements not being quite right and some calcification buildups in her heart. I did not know what to think, you know, and then he asked us to come back for another visit.
This time to be more in-depth and I brought my husband. And at this point we found out the true diagnosis that was going on with our child. She had a Dandy-Walker brain malformation and trisomy 13. And the doctor had told us that this was incompatible with life. And he gave us all these statistics of, you know, Dandy-Walker brain malformation was 65% fatal.
And then trisomy 13, he said, was incompatible with life and that 99.9% of those children die in the next few minutes right after birth. So, of course we were just devastated. And just in shock, as we drove home that day. We just didn't even really talk other than to decide that okay, you know, it's a few days before Christmas, we're not gonna tell our kids about this. Of course, I was totally torn up inside about the baby that was in my womb. We didn't even know how to process it, you know. The doctor had given us no hope at all that there would be life. It was just devastating.
Crystal Keating: Oh, it is devastating. And I can only imagine how grieved and confused you would've been. How far along were you when they gave you the diagnosis?
Cami Lundt: I was at 22 weeks and they told us that before 24 weeks they could go ahead and induce labor and that it would just be a premature delivery. But that was, of course, something that we could not do.
Crystal Keating: Talk about the medical professionals were they encouraging you to go through with a procedure like this, or what were some of the options that they were giving you at this point?
Cami Lundt: Well, their first one was definitely the premature delivery. They said before 24 weeks they could induce labor and it would be just called a premature delivery. But in my mind, you know, I knew that baby did not have a chance to live, and I wanted to give her as much of a chance at life as possible.
So once we told the doctor that was not an option for us then that doctor and every doctor we saw after just said that comfort care was the way to go. That no matter what measures we did, we would still end up with the same result, a dying child. If the baby made it past, you know, the initial five minutes that they all said that it would be, that we would just use comfort care until the baby passed away. We wouldn't do any medical interventions to help the baby out at all.
Crystal Keating: So the doctors would not try to aid in prolonging the life of your child after she was born? It was that what they were basically saying?
Cami Lundt: Yes, that was the path they were leading us down. And at the time, this was 2007, you know, we didn't have all the knowledge that we have now. So I didn't know that there were other trisomy 13 children out there that were living and thriving, and their families loved them. And, you know, that you could fight for support, you could ask for doctors to give them oxygen and do different medical procedures. I just did not even know that those things were available.
And we even talked to, you know, doctors that we knew were Christians. I sought them out and asked their opinions as well. And I don't think that they necessarily all had bad intentions, but I think that the knowledge was just so limited at that time that they didn't know anything different.
They hadn't seen the children that were living and doing well. So I don't really blame those doctors, I just feel like the word wasn't out yet. The trisomy community is doing a much better job now. It's spreading the word and letting, these children be seen and known so that doctors know that they can be treated and there is hope for life.
Crystal Keating: Yes. That is very true. You know, I'm curious, Cami, how are you processing this spiritually? I know at that time you were just relying on the Lord and you were seeking wise counsel. How were you thinking about this in reference to God? How did you process through that?
Cami Lundt: Well, it was difficult. I had been a Christian, a believer from the age of eight. I'd grown up in a Christian home and been in the church, you know, all the time. And I even went to a Christian college. So I was really grounded in my faith. And early in finding out that diagnosis, I felt like God had been challenging me to praise him through this process.
But that doesn't mean that it was easy. Because you know, just because you accept something as your belief and your faith when you're young, doesn't mean that you're not gonna come to that point in life where you question it and where you doubt. And so it was those doubts and those questions, you know, why would you take away my child?
Why would you do this, allow this to our family? And the one question that I really struggled with is, how could you say that you're my friend? Because I'd always known Jesus to be my friend. And that just did not seem like something that a friend would do, you know? But thankfully, processing through that in the months to come, you know, it was right around Christmas time when we got the diagnosis and just remembering the Christmas child, you know, Mary, how she was chosen to be Jesus's mother.
And just thinking through her process and all of that, you know, she could have been stoned. She had to watch her own son be put to death on the cross. And just all of those different things that God was revealing to me just reminded me that he chose me to be Grace's mom and that it was an honor and a privilege no matter how hard it was going to be.
I had always loved music growing up and God just always seemed to put the right song on the radio at the right time. And one song that he showed me very early on was Walking Her Home by Mark Schultz. And it really talks about a husband walking his wife home, you know, through dating years and their marriage until the day that he said goodbye and he walked her home to heaven. And God just really kind of used that song to tell me that's what you are doing, Cami.
I was walking Grace home to her heavenly home. You know, we all think of our home here on earth and it's just so temporal, but our permanent home is our eternal home in heaven.
And he just reminded me that it is a privilege. It was an honor that I was the one chosen to walk her home to her eternal home. And even though it was gonna be a very short walk, probably, I was still the blessed one that he chose to do it. And so I just took every opportunity I had just to talk to her, to sing to her, to love on her as best that I was able to do.
Crystal Keating: That is so beautiful. Well, miraculously, your daughter Grace was born on time and received those diagnosis, Dandy-Walker and trisomy 13. Can you tell us a little bit about her birth and even how some of those diagnosis affected her?
Cami Lundt: She was born right on time. Praise the Lord. The doctors were wanting to induce me early, but I arranged that they would wait. I mean, she kicked and moved more than my other three children ever did. And I just felt like that was God's reassurance, you know, that she was still alive and that he was in control.
So when it came the day for the doctors to induce me, my labor had already started. So we went to the hospital and they gave me a very sweet nurse, but I was still just in fear, you know. But I had been meeting with the pastor's wife and another young pregnant mother through most of my pregnancy towards the end. They were just going through scripture with me and God's character and I said, can you have them come in?
So they came in and they shared Scripture with me, just reminding me that no matter what man does, it cannot change God's plan. And so that was such a comfort to me in that fearful moment. And after that I was just filled with peace and strength, and I was just very calm through the whole process.
And then when Grace was born, she came out and she was crying and she looked very healthy. You know, they had told us all the different anomalies, all the possibilities that could happen with these trisomy children. And, you know, everything from extra fingers and toes to a cleft palate lip to a skull that, you know, wasn't closed up. And so when they put her in my arms, she just looked perfect. So a lot of the things that came along with that trisomy 13 diagnosis didn't present itself at birth, but it started showing up throughout her life. They had told us prenatally that the things that would cause her to die would be failure to thrive, which means that she would just stop eating or she wouldn't be able to get the sustenance to live.
They said, or possibly she would just stop breathing in her sleep. They said reflux that would cause pneumonia because she wouldn't be able to swallow correctly, or they said her Dandy-Walker brain malformation would cause her to die. So we, of course were just amazed that she made it through that first day, that first night, you know, two days later we took her home from the hospital.
Crystal Keating: Well, Cami, it sounds like you were given a gift of way more time than you ever expected. I would love to know what were some of the greatest challenges she faced. And how did your family care for her through her limitations? And it just sounds like God continues to provide people and grace and help and support that you weren't even expecting or even imagining that was possible.
Cami Lundt: Yes, he definitely did. You know, we brought her home within the first week we realized that she was having struggles getting any of her food digested.
You know, she was losing weight quickly and we were having the hospice nurse come every day, and every day I was trying to nurse and she just wasn't getting enough. And so they said we need to start bottle feeding her so that we can measure her intake and see how much she's actually eating. I remember one night I was just in tears because we were on the third bottle and I couldn't get her to get anything out of it. And thankfully a family member happened to be a speech pathologist and she felt around Gracie's mouth and she said she needs a pigeon bottle or a Haberman bottle.
And these were special bottles that they usually gave to children with cleft palate lips. And so her and my other sister-in-law, they took off into the night and they went and visited three hospitals before they found the right bottle that we needed. And they brought that bottle home and it helped make a big difference, at least in that moment. Now Grace did continue to struggle with putting on weight so we did eventually go down the road of feeding tubes. Each new doctor, it seemed like brought a new diagnosis. At about two years, we were at the doctor's office and she heard a murmur when she was listening to her heart.
So we found out that Grace had a coarctation of the aorta. She started having UTIs, so they sent us to a nephrologist and had to run all these tests. You know, so every time I took her to a different doctor, I was just praying, Lord, let there not be anything else. Every doctor's visit was a challenge and I would come home just in tears crying out to the Lord. Why one more thing? You know, she's innocent little child. You know?
I just hated to see her struggle through those things. But God was faithful, he had her days written in his Book, and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't on me that it was all in his timing that she would go to heaven. But that was something that was gonna take me years to realize and accept and trust in.
He always got us into the doctor at the right time. God was so faithful, he'd bring the right person to our home. Or, you know, I read the right article that would make me aware of something that God would just faithfully maneuver, you know, the right people and places and everything to get her the help that she needed at the time.
Crystal Keating: And Cami, you have to have eyes of faith to be able to see God's hand in all of this. I know as we've had parents on our podcast talk about the many joys of raising a child with disabilities, but also the challenges that worry and fear of the future can sometimes cloud faith. So you're talking about some of the emotional challenges you faced. How did you experience God's help and grace through some of these valleys?
And I'm curious, what was your experience like with the church at that time? Were you connected? Were they supporting you? What was your relationship with the church body as I know that for many families, when you're at the doctor's office, maybe multiple times a week or you're scheduling appointments, it can be all-consuming. Can you talk a little bit about those seasons of staying connected with the body of Christ?
Cami Lundt: Yes, our church body was just vital. They breathed life into me during that pregnancy and got me through it. Their prayers we're just so important. I don't know how families without it get through it. During Grace's life, we even moved twice. We were leaving our entire support system to go to a city where we knew no one. You know, we were gonna need new doctors, new schools, new church, and...
Crystal Keating: You were essentially starting over.
Cami Lundt: Yes. But I just knew that God would provide we had moved around a bit already in our marriage life and I realized that we needed to jump in right away into a church. And thankfully, you know, God leads the way. He prepares the way; he prepares people's hearts before we even get there. Because the very first church I called, I spoke with a church secretary and I shared the needs of our family. I said, you know, we need a support system. And not that I don't want to be giving and doing my share of giving to the church and being a support and serving, but I knew that's what we needed.
And this sweet lady with her Texas accent said, you know what, just give us a try. She said, I'll meet you at church on Sunday, and sure enough, she met us at the door. She was waiting for us. And of course she recognized us 'cause we're wheeling Gracie in, in her wheelchair.
And that sweet lady became, as we affectionately call her, our kids' Texas grandma, because she pretty much just adopted our family on the spot. She would sit with Gracie through Sunday School so that Rich and I could go to church. You know, if it was flu season, I didn't necessarily want her in a classroom or in around a lot of people and so Miss Bonnie would take Gracie to her office at the church, and she would do Sunday School just with my Gracie.
And the church just really, they just really came in with abundance, you know, with meals and they brought ladies Bible Study to my house when I didn't have someone to care for Grace.
Crystal Keating: That's wonderful. I love that.
Cami Lundt: Yeah, they were just there. They helped clean the house when we moved. You know, God was just very faithful even when we moved to Albuquerque again. We found a church right away and it was just perfect. They supported us.
Christmas morning in San Antonio, Grace was in the hospital. She'd been in the hospital for quite a while, and our kids were farmed out to other people, you know, as needed. The pastor and his wife came and sat in the hospital with Grace on Christmas Day so that I could go home and spend Christmas with the family.
Crystal Keating: That is love.
Cami Lundt: Yeah, it definitely was.
Crystal Keating: Oh, I'm so encouraged to hear how you being a new family in a new city without them even knowing you initially, that they would surround you in such kind, compassionate, and caring ways to just minister with you and to you. I just love that. And Cami, you talked a little bit about your marriage and we know that many families who care for a child with a disability experience multiple layers of stress, and sometimes, sadly, the stress can be so severe, the marriage begins to crack. So how did you and your husband fight for your marriage as you raised Grace?
Cami Lundt: Well, to be honest, we didn't do it right at the beginning. Our marriage, it had a cracked foundation really before Grace came along. And I didn't realize it. I didn't see it. My husband, Rich, he had said to me at different times in our marriage, you know, we need to make sure we have a good marriage, because someday these kids aren't going to be with us. So I feel like he was dropping hints that he needed more from me. But I just, I didn't see it. And then of course, when the diagnosis came, we communicated about as much as was necessary, but we did not communicate nearly as much as we needed to.
I think of it as, you know, we lived in a split-level house at the time and I was up on the one floor in our living room most days and nights, getting comfort from my friends that were in the area, family, on the phone and Rich was on a different level, and he was often by himself.
So we weren't processing through this pregnancy the same way. You know, I just kept praying for more days. I didn't wanna miscarry. She seemed healthy and safe as long as she was in my womb. And Rich, his way of processing was, he was ready for that miscarriage.
He was ready for it to be done. He just wanted to move on to the grief part and be done with it because we both believed what the doctors had said, you know, so he just felt like there was this big cloud over our house and that he just wanted to get us through that next part of life as quickly as possible.
So we were already making those disconnections, you know, that things weren't as good and strong as they should. And then when we went through that first move, right after Grace's first birthday, Rich had to go sooner than I did. I had to wait for the house to sell and for the kids to get out of school.
And I was taking care of all four children in and out of the hospital and doctor's appointments and the kids at school and trying to sell the house. You know how it is to keep your house clean for whatever showings come. I was feeling a lot of stress, and I didn't realize that he was down there starting a new job, but he was very lonely and missing his family and missing his wife.
And so by the time I moved down there, things were already strained. And so I remember one night as we were sitting, he looked at me and he said, she's your number one.
And I looked at him and in tears, I said, I know she is, but I don't know how to change it. I never shared with him at that time the pressure that I felt of keeping her alive. I felt like nobody knew her like I did and that if she was to stay alive, it was because I needed to stay on top of everything.
I had to be watching her caring for her every second of every day, or I was gonna miss something that was gonna make her death faster. And I know that wasn't a correct thought, you know, that was not from God, but that's just how I felt and I wasn't able to share that with Rich and so in 2010, our marriage did come crashing down. It just hit rock bottom. We weren't screaming and fighting. It came really quick. I was just devastated all over again. And here I thought that through the last couple years as I was growing through my Christian walk with God, and I thought he was preparing me for Grace's death, but then I found out that he was preparing me for the death of our marriage because in Rich's eyes, it was pretty much over.
We had a choice to make, you know, were we going to fight for our marriage? Were we gonna try to make it work out or were we going to do, like most of the world is doing these days, just call it quits? It was at that point where we just had that decision that, that needed to be made and it was so painful. That was such an incredibly hard time in our lives that Satan had been working his way in and putting thoughts in both of our heads that weren't correct.
Crystal Keating: That's always his way. And it's mixed with a little bit of truth and all kinds of lies that are very tempting. How did you and your husband get through this?
Cami Lundt: Well, thankfully, we were already living in two separate towns. Rich was in Albuquerque starting his new job, and I was in San Antonio trying to sell the house again.
We decided that we would fight for our marriage. You know, neither of us really loved each other at that point, more than just by choice, by words that were empty. But we decided that we would try it. And, you know, one thing I remember saying to Rich is if I've learned anything in the last two years, is that God can do the impossible.
Crystal Keating: Amen.
Cami Lundt: So we started Christian counseling right away. I started in San Antonio, and he started in Albuquerque and it was so good for us just to be able to talk and get those things out. And we started communicating like we never had before. We also realized that distance between us, from San Antonio to Albuquerque, that was one area that had gotten us in that mess of our marriage, you know. Rich had felt like he was just a paycheck to me. He was just completing my family picture, you know, that he didn't mean anything to me.
So one thing that we started doing as soon as the kids were outta school, the house hadn't sold yet, but I started driving back and forth to Albuquerque. Every week I would drive there and we'd stay with him in the hotel for a week, and then I'd drive back and we'd get Gracie to all her doctor's appointments and do whatever we needed to do to keep the house looking right for hopefully the sale and we just did that all summer long. I kept going there. He would come back a couple different times when he was able, but we just realized that distance was not helping. It was hindering our marriage. And proximity is key when you're in relationship with somebody, you know, you just have to be together.
So the counselors were really good and they gave us good, strong advice about leaning into each other even when we didn't feel like it, if we didn't feel connected, you know, just reaching for that hand and holding that hand and it was just amazing to see how God worked and brought us closer to each other through time.
A marriage doesn't heal overnight. It didn't break overnight and it doesn't heal overnight. But thankfully with time, God has made us a stronger couple than we had ever been. I mean, I had prayed for Rich to become the spiritual leader, and I didn't necessarily like the way God did it, but through our marriage breaking, Rich became that spiritual leader that I had longed for.
And so I'm just very thankful that he took us through that. And I know that his timing was just perfect because that was when Grace was two years old and we lost Grace right before her fifth birthday. And I just know that had we kept trudging along in our broken marriage, we would've never made it through her death together.
It just would not have happened. You know, the counselor told us that, we all hear the statistics, you know, 50% of marriages end in divorce, but he told us that 75% of marriages with a special needs child end in divorce. So, I know it's hard. God was good though. He was faithful.
Crystal Keating: And you and your husband committed to doing the hard work of choosing to love, even when you didn't feel like you loved one another and...
Cami Lundt: Yeah.
Crystal Keating: Every step of the way, God honored and what a testimony of the help that God gave you through the Christian counselors and even preparing you together for when Grace would pass.
Cami, can you share a little bit about maybe the days right before Grace passed? Where were you and where was your husband and family and what was that like as you prepared for her to go?
Cami Lundt: Well, kind of a hard question because we weren't necessarily prepared for her to go at that time. We had almost lost her several times throughout her life through different hospitalizations. And, but moving up to it, I remember the first year of her life, I was so focused on her and me and her and me, and then the second year of life in those hospitalizations, I remember God lifting my eyes and thinking, oh, there's other families up here. They need our prayer. You know, there's more reasons why we're up here than just Grace and me. So it kind of was starting to get my eyes off myself, more onto what God's greater purposes were. And then in 2011, I kind of came to the place where she's yours, Lord. I know that my time is limited with her and she's yours. And I came across Scripture that talks about that we all have a purpose and a plan and I just started realizing that Grace is here until he is finished fulfilling his purpose in her life.
Just coming to those different realizations that in 2012, we had come through every surgery that Grace needed. We made it through. We still had a lot of medical issues and pneumonia and things like that, but I thought that we were to the other side where we could just live and enjoy her, you know? I thought that we had kind of hit that point where we were free of some of those worries and fears. And I remember going to a Casting Crowns concert on a Thursday night and just hearing some of the songs that they were singing and the songs that God brought to us that week. The Great I Am, we sang that in church on that Sunday before she passed. And we were just worshiping God, realizing what a great God he was. You know and it talks about heaven and God had really been setting my sights also on heaven. It's not something to be feared.
It's something that we should look forward to. It's our eternal home. It's going to be a wonderful place. You know, and when I thought of it in perspective to Grace, her blind eyes, she couldn't see. She couldn't walk, she couldn't talk. All of these things were gonna be so much better for her when she got to heaven.
She wouldn't have to suffer through all these hospitalizations and pneumonias and being intubated and just all the needles. Every night when we were in the hospital, you know, I'd sing to her, and I got to the point in her hospitalizations where at night when I kissed her goodnight, and I would just tell her, you know, Gracie, if you see Jesus, you just run to him. Just run to him because heaven is wonderful. And I didn't want her to be afraid or worried about me or anything.
She couldn't express herself to tell me how her feelings were. But I just, I felt like I wanted to give her permission, you know? And I told her, I said, these doctors here are really good and fast. I said, so if Jesus comes, you just go. But...
Crystal Keating: That was you releasing her to the Lord.
Cami Lundt: Yeah. And I don't know if Grace needed that or if I just needed that. But I'm thankful that God got me to that point because at that Casting Crown's concert he played a song called The Hurt and the Healer and it talked about, you know, when we meet with Jesus, it brings our hurts and the healing they collide.
So then the very next day, I had just been to that concert praising God and just feeling all this new revelation of what God had shown me about how her death is even going to just be that ultimate healing. And that very next morning, she wasn't doing well and the nurse had come to help take care of her and she realized that she wasn't breathing well.
And so I ran across the street to where our neighbor was on oxygen all the time because our oxygen tank wasn't working. And so we tried to put it on her. And in my panic I thought, okay, I'm gonna go ask the neighbor. So I ran and got the oxygen tank and brought it back, and we rushed Gracie to the hospital and they admitted her right away.
And pretty much through that whole day, that was a Friday, you know, seemed like a normal hospitalization. They were running tests, she had a fever. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary at all. But then in the middle of the night, they woke me up and they said that her heart was stopping. It had stopped and they brought her back.
And they explained to me that she had a urinary tract infection. And she had them so many times in her life when she was two she just started having them and they were one right after another and she'd get one before we even finished the antibiotic. The doctor went on to explain to me that her UTI had gone septic and had gotten into her bloodstream and it was attacking the heart. And because Gracie had been on so many different antibiotics through those years, they were having trouble finding an antibiotic that could handle it.
And they said they even got their strongest antibiotic. They weren't sure they could get it, but they got it and they were giving it to her, but it was just too late. They encouraged me to get Rich up there with the kids and we brought the kids in and we were playing The Great I Am on our CD player, and we were all just taking our time loving on Grace.
Each of the kids whispered in her ear, you know, what they wanted to tell her and just praying spending that time with her. And then I had a friend come get them and take them home because Grace's heart had given out three times already that night and we weren't sure when it was gonna happen again. I really didn't want it happening when they were there. So they had just placed Gracie in my arms and it wasn't even 10 minutes after that Grace's heart started giving away again. And she passed very peacefully, very calmly in my arms and Rich was right there holding us both as well. But I was just thankful, you know, after all those hospitalizations where we were in for weeks and even months at times, and she suffered and I'd always prayed, Lord, when you take her home to be with you, please make it quick and please help her to not suffer.
And that's exactly what he did. You know, she was gone within 24 hours of us even realizing that anything was wrong with her. So even to the very end, you know, God was just faithful answering our prayers and taking care of our family and getting us where we needed to be, when we needed to be there and preparing our hearts, because I truly feel like he prepared all of our hearts for that time.
Crystal Keating: Yes, he certainly did. Cami, how have you processed this grief even after her passing with her absence? I know that you are assured that she is with the Lord and she is free of suffering, but how are you and Rich doing and your other children as you remember her life?
Cami Lundt: We are doing really well. As I said before, I'm so thankful that God worked through our marriage issues before and I can only attest to the fact that God knows our days from the beginning to the end, and his plan is best. As hard as it may seem at the time, you know, his timing, it was all so uniquely scripted out for us and we can't see it coming, but he does, and he sees what our needs are gonna be.
And so when she passed, we really came together as a family and just went through that grieving process together. And I'm not going to say that it's been perfect because I don't think grief is. We all go through it in so many different ways I've found that me and my daughter, we need to talk about it a whole lot more than Rich and our boys do. They grieve more silently and quietly. And just to be able to say, you know, that's all right. It's okay if that is how they grieve. And so I'm thankful that God has been faithful to bring us through that and just to keep my eyes on heaven.
You know, heaven is looking sweeter and sweeter. Isaiah 25 tells us that he will swallow up death for all time and the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces. And Grace very seldom showed tears. In fact, I remember wondering at one point if she was even able to, because she was on all these medications for her seizures and things.
And so we didn't always see all of her personality. But I remember one storm that started when we were at the ball field, and I was running to the van with her. And all of a sudden, this huge gust of wind hit her face and she just teared up and started crying.
It was just a blessing to me that, oh, she can communicate when she's hurting and so just knowing that God has taken all that away from her, she's not in pain. She's not hurting anymore you know, and she's not limited in her body in any way, shape, or form. Now I cannot wait to see her in heaven, seeing all that God has enabled her to do now. For me, what's been helpful is keeping my heart set on things above and not on myself. That's where we get our joy from is when we can focus on Jesus and others and just our hope of heaven. That's my home.
Crystal Keating: Amen. Well, Cami, as we close our time together, you wrote your book Walking Her Home as a way to encourage others who are carrying more than they can bear. So, I'm just wondering if you'd like to speak directly to our listeners today, what would you like to share to those who might be feeling overwhelmed by their circumstances and are in need of a good and refreshing word from someone who's acquainted with grief and yet clinging to the Lord?
Cami Lundt: I have such a heart for these families that are going through similar situations where perhaps, you know, they've got a bad diagnosis for their child their spouse or even themselves. You know, there's so many hurting families out there that I just can't even fathom how many there are, but my heart just goes out to them and I just would like to encourage them in their time of need, in their time of this dark valley or storm that they're going through, that God is faithful. And that if we cling to him, he will get us through. And he sees not just the beginning from the end season of our life, but from our whole life. You know, God saw me from my birth to the end of my life and he uses the things that we've been through to encourage us. I was in the Word, but he knew that my heart was very strong with music. And so he spoke to me many times just through music. God prepares us and he gives us everything we need for that moment. We don't have to see two weeks or two months or two years ahead. We just need what we need in that moment, and God will give it to us.
And his timing is just the most precious thing to me also that gives me assurance that I'm not gonna make a mistake that he can't work his perfect goodness in. There's that Scripture that said that in our inadequacy, he provides enough to be adequate. He gives us what we need.
And then the Scripture, Isaiah 26:3, that says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you." Ultimately, our trust needs to be in him. And that moment of surrender for that child or that family member that's going through those things that are so difficult to walk them through, it's our trust in him that enables us to surrender to his plan and his will because we know that he loves us and he loves them.
He loved Gracie and he was not gonna take her any sooner than his perfect plan for her life. And that's where my trust needed to be. Not in myself, but in him. So I just wanna encourage them that if they don't feel up for the task, they don't have to. God has them and he will give them the ability to make it through.
Crystal Keating: That is a good word. Cami, thank you so much for opening your heart to us and sharing your story with us here on the podcast.
Cami Lundt: Thank you so much for having me, Crystal. I really appreciate it.