Stephanie Daniels welcomes her friend and co-worker, Mary Grace Burkey, to the podcast for a deep look at the unique needs of military families—and what you can do to support them. With 25 years of experience serving with Joni and Friends, Mary Grace began as a volunteer and now oversees our Texas-area Retreats & Getaways. Organizing multiple Warrior Getaways every year, she shares valuable insights into their life-changing benefits—respite, spiritual renewal, and healing—not just for Veterans, but for their entire families.
Stephanie Daniels welcomes her friend and co-worker, Mary Grace Burkey, to the podcast for a deep look at the unique needs of military families—and what you can do to support them. With 25 years of experience serving with Joni and Friends, Mary Grace began as a volunteer and now oversees our Texas-area Retreats & Getaways. Organizing multiple Warrior Getaways every year, she shares valuable insights into their life-changing benefits—respite, spiritual renewal, and healing—not just for Veterans, but for their entire families.
Who in your life has served, or is currently serving, in the U.S. military? Many individuals live with the effects of visible and invisible injuries as a result of their military service. At Joni and Friends, we hold Warrior Getaways to honor and give back to these brave Veterans and their families.
Consider attending a Joni and Friends Warrior Getaway
Sign up to volunteer at a Warrior Getaway
Give to Joni and Friends to welcome more families to Warrior Getaway and our other Christ-centered programs and outreaches!
KEY QUESTIONS:
What obstacles keep Veteran families from feeling known, connected, and at welcomed within the body of Christ?
How can you and your church extend a warm welcome to military families and effectively meet their needs?
KEY SCRIPTURES:
Psalm 46:1–3: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”
Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Crystal Keating:
This is the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast and I’m your host Crystal Keating. Each week we’re bringing you encouraging conversations about finding hope through hardship and practical ways that you can include people living with disability in your church and community. As you listen, visit joniandfriends.org/podcast to access the resources we mention, or to send me a message with your thoughts.
Stephanie Daniels:
Hi, I'm Stephanie Daniels. Today, I'm excited to sit down with my friend and colleague, Mary Grace Berkey, to talk about our Joni and Friends Warrior Getaways.
Mary Grace began serving with Joni and Friends 25 years ago, first as a volunteer, and now as the Senior Ministry Operations Manager where she oversees the planning and execution of our Texas area Family Retreats as well as our Marriage and Warrior Getaways.
The Joni and Friends Warrior Getaway serves Veterans who have sustained a visible or invisible injury from war. Today, Mary Grace is opening up about Warrior Getaways and how they help Veterans and their families. Welcome to the podcast, Mary Grace.
Mary Grace:
Thank you, Stephanie. I'm so glad to be here with you.
Stephanie Daniels:
You plan these getaway experiences for Veterans. Can you explain what a Warrior Getaway is?
Mary Grace:
Yeah, so Warrior Getaway is a five-day event that serves our American combat Veterans who have visible and invisible injuries as a result of their military service. Veterans, along with their families, are provided a safe space for respite, spiritual renewal, and healing. It also provides them with an opportunity to fellowship with other Veterans facing similar challenges and find new hope in Christ. They also have the opportunity to hear from speakers and engage in counseling opportunities and spend time in God's word while building community at the getaway.
Stephanie Daniels:
Can you talk about, in the context of Warrior Getaway, what does spiritual renewal look like?
Mary Grace:
Some of our Veterans who come into Warrior Getaway are really struggling with their relationship with the Lord for a variety of reasons, from the things that they saw and experienced during their time in combat and also the struggles that they face when they come back and reconnect with their families.
They can feel a distance between themselves and their relationship with God. And so, the getaway provides an opportunity for them to hear from speakers and engage with counselors and to be open about their relationship with the Lord and to be open about how they view God after their time in combat.
It just opens that door for them to see that there's hope, that there's an opportunity for them to renew their identity in Jesus Christ, to renew their faith in the Lord and their trust in the Lord, and to realize that God's always been there with them. Not just while they're at home in the United States, but he was with them during their wartime experience and that he never left them, and that they can continue to rely on him past the injuries and the trauma that they've suffered.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so good. I can only imagine how critical and vital that part of the Warrior Getaway experience is, because I think everybody needs to know that they haven't gone far enough that they can't connect with the Lord and be restored and renewed. So, I love that you are providing that opportunity for our Veterans.
We've talked about the visible and invisible injuries from war. For our listeners that might be wondering like I was, can you explain a little bit more about what are invisible injuries?
Mary Grace:
Yeah. So, our United States Veterans are not always visibly injured. Many can return from war suffering from post-traumatic stress, moral injury, and traumatic brain injuries, and we refer to these as invisible injuries. You can't see them when you're looking at the Veteran, but it's an injury that they live with daily, and it affects their daily life, and it often affects their entire family.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's interesting. People don't always think of Veteran injuries affecting a family. My husband got the chance to serve at a Warrior Getaway and he was sharing a conversation that he'd had with a family. The dad returned from deployment and was experiencing PTSD, and his injury affected how they planned everything. From when or if they would leave the house, if they'd go out to eat, where they'd sit in a restaurant. Especially church, I can only imagine what their experiences were like at church when there's lights and loud sounds and all sorts of things.
What are some ways that maybe you've seen some families affected by their Veterans returning home and having these invisible injuries?
Mary Grace:
It can be a huge adjustment for the family when that Veteran returns home. Whether it was mom or dad, when they suffer things like a traumatic brain injury or severe post-traumatic stress, they may not be the same person that they were when they left.
You'll see they'll come back, and their personality has changed. They may suffer from more angry outbursts. They may be more distant because they feel like they can't reconnect with people because of their brain injury or their post-traumatic stress. Just think about what that would feel like in your family, if your mom or your dad came home, and their personality wasn't the same.
Maybe they weren't as fun-loving as they used to be, or maybe they didn't want to engage in conversation with you like they had before. Those are a lot of the differences that these families can struggle with when their mom or dad or their husband or wife returns from combat. They weren't expecting it and there's no way to plan for it.
You don't know what that injury is going to look like. You don't know what a personality change might be. You don't know until they walk in the door. And it doesn't just affect the spouse, it affects the kids too. That's a lot of what we see at Warrior Getaway and that's part of why we do the getaways. We want to offer help, and we want to offer hope in those situations to those families.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so powerful and I'm so thankful that Joni and Friends offers that. I can only imagine having to re-acclimate as a family when that person returns and I just... it's heartbreaking a little bit.
Mary Grace:
That's one of the incredible things about what Joni and Friends does at our Warrior Getaways. There are so many Veteran programs in the United States that are focused solely on the Veteran, and that's wonderful, Veterans need our help and our support when they return from combat. But very few of those programs focus on the Veteran's family. So, a lot of times the family can get left out of those resources that they need when the warrior returns home. And so, Joni and Friends has come alongside not just the warrior, but also the entire family to help them reconnect as a family unit.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so important. You've planned multiple Warrior Getaways in Texas and I'm curious, what are some of the benefits or the fruit that you've seen take place in the lives of the Veterans?
Mary Grace:
That is a great question. Some of the wonderful things we've seen take place at Warrior Getaway, some of my favorite things to see there, are the marriages restored. Lot of times the caregiver, the spouse can get so overwhelmed in the caregiving when the Veteran returns home that they can lose sight of their relationship and their marriage. So, we love seeing spouses reconnect at Warrior Getaway, to get a break from the everyday tasks of caring for their spouse, and to get to spend time just enjoying being with each other again.
Another thing is the community that we see happen at Warrior Getaway. A lot of Veterans when they return home, they can lose relationships with their friends and family. People don't know how to relate to them, or they're scared to relate to them, so they lose some of those relationships, or those relationships become strained. And at Warrior Getaway we get to see these Veterans and their spouses and caregivers connect with other Veterans and spouses and caregivers. People who are living that same life and have similar experiences, they get to connect and build community there.
Stephanie Daniels:
So, I'm just curious, because I know you're married to a Veteran. What are some of the benefits you've seen in his life from Warrior Getaway?
Mary Grace:
I would say that it all goes back to that community. At Warrior Getaway, we don't just have Veterans and their families there, we also have amazing volunteers. One of our key volunteers is a volunteer that we call a battle buddy. Usually, Veterans themselves who have come in to serve at Warrior Getaway to be there as a support to the Veterans. My husband has built wonderful relationships with those battle buddy volunteers and other Veterans over the years.
And it's not just at Warrior Getaway, it has continued into his life and into other warriors’ lives. They get together outside of Warrior Getaway. They call each other, they text each other, those battle buddies showed up when my husband has been hospitalized. They've dropped off dinner for us. They've driven him to appointments for me. He has full community in his everyday life now that came solely from him attending Warrior Getaway.
Stephanie Daniels:
I love hearing about community in action and just the fact that it stemmed from Warrior Getaway is wonderful. Which leads me to my next question. Could you share a story about one of the Veterans who's attended a Warrior Getaway? Is there anyone that stands out to you as you've served and participated in these events for the last eight years?
Mary Grace:
Absolutely. The first Veteran that comes to mind is my friend, Edward. Edward attended where you get away with us at our first event 8 years ago. Ed suffers from the normal things that a Veteran suffers from. He suffers from PTSD. He has a traumatic brain injury. And as a result of that, Ed is very hesitant to leave the house. His wife, Brittany, has told us on multiple occasions, Ed stays home most of the time. Getting out there in the community can be a challenge for all the reasons that you named earlier. From the crowds and the unknown of what to expect when they go out, but Warrior Getaway is Edward's favorite place to go.
Every year, the one thing he looks forward to is coming to Warrior Getaway to reconnect with those friends that he's made over the years. He feels safe, he knows that he's with Veterans that he can trust, he knows that he's with people who have shared those similar experiences in combat that he experienced, and that is where Ed thrives. And now Ed is one of our greatest entertainers at Warrior Getaway. He's great at helping other Veterans open up when they arrive and get engaged in our activities and our fellowship times. He is the first to be on stage, the first to make everyone laugh. We love Edward participating with us.
Stephanie Daniels:
I'm so glad that you brought him up because I have had the chance to meet him, and he is just a beautiful depiction of the Lord's joy and restoration. So yes, I can totally cosign on Ed and the beautiful result that comes from Warrior Getaway.
I have been to a few getaways, and I see the Veterans arrive with some walls up because it can be very vulnerable to attend an event without knowing what's ahead. But by the end of the week, there's laughter, families are a little bit more bonded, all the things that we've just gone through here, and especially what you've highlighted with Ed's story.
But we know that isolation is a consistent theme among Veterans. Can you talk about the power of community that the Warrior Getaway attendees experience?
Mary Grace:
Many of our Veterans do tend to live a more isolated life than we do, and that can be for a variety of reasons, but it's often related to their injuries and their experiences. Warrior Getaway provides such a safe space for them to spend time with their families and with other Veterans.
Our warriors often say that they are most comfortable spending time with other Veterans, because they know that they are with other people who also put their lives on the line to serve our country and they know that they can trust them. So, they begin to open up over the course of the week, they build friendships and community, and they find camaraderie at the getaway.
And it's not just the Veterans, it's also their caregivers, their spouses and their kids. Their spouses have the opportunity to connect with other spouses and caregivers and share their struggles and find support in those friendships too.
Stephanie Daniels:
It's really so cool to see when I'm there serving, I feel like a fly on the wall, because I don't have the shared experiences that these Veterans have and that the caregivers have, but the beauty of community is really awesome to just get to watch as the families connect.
Our culture truly allows us to live and stay in isolation. And I can imagine the shared experiences while deployed creates a bond. And so, when they return, it's so easy to isolate because they aren't in the company of the people they were bonded with when they were away, and they don't want their injury to be a burden to other people. And Warrior Getaway really allows Veterans to see that they're not alone in what they're walking through, and they can develop true, real, empathetic relationships with people who understand exactly where they are.
Getaway also impacts the families, as we've mentioned. We've seen so many marriages and parents with their children so beautifully restored by attending Warrior Getaway. Can you talk to me about the work you do on relationships? And how does this experience impact family relationships?
Mary Grace:
First, we provide space for rest from the everyday, the schedules, the doctor's appointments, the school routines, Warrior Getaway opens the door for spouses and Veterans to reconnect. They have opportunities to go horseback riding together. They enjoy a date night dinner. And we also have marriage counselors on site so that couples can take intentional time to focus on their relationship.
And like I said earlier, the spouse can often get overwhelmed by the caregiving that the Veteran needs and it's easy for them to lose sight of their marriage relationship. So, we provide the time and the opportunity for them to focus on their relationship again while their kids are having fun in our child programming and they're not having to worry about them.
We also provide a time for family connection every day and this opens the door for Veterans to connect with their child in a different environment from home. Sometimes just the chance to play a game or enjoy a bike ride together can begin to strengthen that relationship, and it'll often remind their child of who their parent was before they were injured. It can inspire hope in their relationship that it can be restored.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's so great. Everybody needs a chance to get away with your family and your spouse and remember the former things and do the former things and take time to connect.
So, I mentioned volunteering and sometimes I feel like we need permission to do something. And it makes me think of a passage in Matthew 25. Verse 35 starts out, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you or thirsty and give you something to drink?... And the king will reply. Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
And we've talked about the dangers of isolation and the importance of community that's greater than just a five-day experience for those who've returned home from war, especially when you consider the level of camaraderie in the Armed Services.
These Veterans’ needs go way beyond what we can provide in a five-day getaway. So, what are some practical ways as believers and as the body of Christ that we can come alongside these families and Veterans in a way that's both meaningful and helpful?
Mary Grace:
The answer is just simply by being there for them.
Maintaining community is so important when a soldier returns home from war and we, as the body of Christ, should be the best at this part. Remembering to invite that returning warrior to your Bible study, taking their spouse and caregiver out for coffee, just simply making them feel seen, and treating them as you did before their service is also important. Imagine how wonderful it would feel to come home after months or even years of military service, and your church and your community are there with open arms for you.
Like we said before, the Veteran is different when they return home from combat, and this can put stress on their family. So, offering to keep the kiddos so that the Veteran and the spouse can spend a few hours together can make all the difference. Or inviting the warrior's family to dinner can show that you care for them, that you remember them, and that you value them. People are often afraid to be intrusive when a soldier returns home, but that's exactly what the warrior needs, community in the body of Christ.
Volunteering at a Warrior Getaway is a wonderful way to support our Veterans. Joni and Friends is always looking for volunteers who want to come alongside our Veterans and to give back to them after they've sacrificed so much for us. It's fun, it's rewarding, and you won't regret it.
Stephanie Daniels:
That's really, great advice on how the body of Christ can come alongside and support our Veterans after a deployment.
Mary Grace, it has been an absolute privilege to have you on the show today. Thank you so much for joining us to share about how Warrior Getaway blesses and strengthens our Veterans and their families. And if you'd like to apply for a Warrior Getaway, head to the show notes to find an event near you. Mary Grace. Thanks again.
Mary Grace:
Thank you so much, Stephanie. I loved our time together.
Crystal Keating:
Thank you for listening today. For more episodes, find us wherever you get your podcast and be sure to subscribe. We’d also love it if you would tell a friend. And for more encouragement, follow Joni and Friends on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. And visit our website at joniandfriends.org/podcast. Thank you for listening to the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast.